Cheat codes

Warning : The below article might hurt your bf/husband/gf/wife and yourself. If you are cheated on already/you are going to cheat/you are currently cheating(right at the moment) take a two minutes break and Read the below article at your own risk.

I was in a long distance relationship with a girl from Bangalore. She did not show up for a year. No text,no call,not even a bullshit lie. I moved on,someone proposed me,I did not think who I really wanted. Accepted. Few months later, the Bangalore girl shows up, texts me on FB with a bullshit lie that her father died. I still had feelings for the B-girl, I did not know what I should tell to this new girl. It felt like I’m going to cheat on this new girl,if I do not tell her that the B-girl was trying to be back in business now. Anyway, I told the new girl about it and shut the B-bitch down. Few months later, the new girl blamed that I cheated on her and she dumped me. Now I’m having a lot of free time to write shit like these. Did I cheat when I was with this new girl ? Yes I did. Does she know about it ? Not yet. Why did I cheat ? Answer is loading……

Fuck my view. Why do you cheat ? Let’s wait for that. Focus on what the fuck is cheating ? Is it fucking with someone else when you committed to someone ? Is it lying ? Is it breaking your promise ? Is it hurting someone who loves you ? Is it stealing the delicious chicken legs from the kitchen and blaming it on the fat cat you saw on pornhub ? Is it cheating if you are in a relationship but you are not in love ? The dictionary says cheating is acting dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage. Then I would say whatever I said above,all of them count as cheating. Who do we cheat on ? People we love ? Why do we cheat on the people we love ? Why can’t I cheat on a crocodile ? They already look sad and dead and pretending to be fine all the time. Does it mean, you need to have some fucking relationship in order to be capable of cheating ? Fuck,so I can’t even cheat. Let me rethink. Maybe we can cheat on people or animal or whatever it is, if we love them. So love is the real reason behind cheating. No love,no cheating. Note it down. On the other hand, if you tell your partner that you want to fuck someone or get fucked by someone and your partner is okay with it, then it’s not cheating,right ? Fucking human beings. A fat guy/girl cheats on himself/herself when he/she is trying to get slim but eats my fish cake that I have hidden under the freeze. Oh, so I can cheat without a relationship. I just have to be fat for that.

Then how do you cheat ? Try to squeeze the balls of a big bull from behind, you will get the answer right on your face. It’s a fucking stupid question. The real question is why do we cheat. You can already read the answers on Google. Let me tell you in short, men cheat because of sexual dissatisfaction, no other significant reason. Women cheat because of sexual dissatisfaction, unavailability of commitment/attention/love/care from their partners and a thousand more reasons. What other spectacular reason is there,which you can’t find on google ? Let me think why I would cheat. If I’m forcefully in a relationship,there is a chance I would cheat and make sure she doesn’t find out. Yeah it’s possible, I can’t break a girl’s heart, if she proposes me, I’m gonna say yes. It was the past-me, the present-me doesn’t accept anymore. There may be many people like me who don’t like breaking someone’s heart,there is a chance they will cheat on you. Next, I would cheat even if I’m sexually satisfied, if my opinions, suggestions and requests have no value or ignored by my partner. That can be called not getting mentally satisfied. When I say I’m gonna cheat,that doesn’t mean I’m gonna fuck someone,No,if I don’t love you, I will not even stand close to you,you could be a supermodel,but your skin in disgusting to me. I may sext or video-fuck you. But other people will fuck in real. Who is disgusting now ?

So if your lover cheated on you, then it’s his/her fault and your fault too. If you can’t keep your partner satisfied, don’t get into a relationship with that person who has high expectations from you. Go for someone who matches your vibration. Is this the solution to cheating ? How can you prevent your lover from cheating on you ? I bet everyone is interested to know. The important one is to find the right person for yourself. Know someone really well before choosing them for lifetime. Visit every dark corner in their minds. But one simple solution is maintaining the consistency of your love,respect and sex for each other. Men will straightaway cheat if their partner is not providing enough fucking sessions. God made the womenkind sexually energy less and the mankind, totally freaking sex-robots, to make the game interesting. Proof ? I’m 24*7 horny. You should get someone who matches your sexual energy. On the other hand, women become sex-less after having kids,that’s why there are a lot divorces after a girl becomes mom. I don’t know how to deal with it. It’s all God’s plan. So if both the partners provide enough sexual and mental satisfaction to each other, then there is a very less chance of any cheating. Also, if you have a big family, lot of people living in your home, there is a very very less chance of cheating because you will be busy as shit. Trust me on this. I think a better communication is a key to no cheating. You should express your concerns to each other rather than hiding them. Women hide and they get cheated on. Keep no secret. You should talk about little things which are bothering you, be totally open to each other. You should tell your partner if any of his/her action is bothering you and be a good listener for fuck’s sake. Small things will give you a big blow in the end. On a bigger note, learn to masturbate for Pete’s sake. Satisfy yourself sexually if you are not getting it from your partner. Don’t cheat,you disgusting filthy fucking rat. A lot of women tell me to be with a girl physically rather than masturbating. Why would I fucking depend on a bitch to satisfy me ? I have become too independent. Fucking cursed. I do not cheat. I always give warnings if you are doing something I don’t like. We are done after three strikes. Plus I hate each and every single one of you. If my partner doesn’t keep me happy, I won’t cheat and I will get rid of her. Don’t cheat,if you are not happy with the relationship, get some fucking courage to say it to their faces. Don’t be on a break like Ross and fuck someone. If you can’t help but cheat, then break up, don’t be in a relationship and fuck or get fucked as much as you want. Don’t hurt someone,you fucking white/black/brown moron. Be honest with yourself and to your partner, do nice things in life, you might get the pass to heaven or prepare your holes to get fucked by the devil in hell. Please send me the video.

Ops forgot to answer, I was stupid and really had no idea about relationship or anything. I was so fucking immature and I cheated. It was sexting. Will it happen again ? Never. I’m matured and full of wisdom now. Yes I am the one who wrote the article.

– The Sir Sagz

Fear the feelings

Warning : It’s not a funny post. The below article might hurt everyone you know and yourselves. Read at your own risk, no-plan-guys.

Have you ever felt so amazing because you are so unique ? Then you burst into tears for like three seconds, because you are so fucked up and that you don’t like anyone anymore ? Then right in between third and fourth second, you start laughing silently because everything is so unimportant to you ? Fucking job and fucking money. In the sixth second,you get so motherfucking angry because you feel so lonely and lost ? Has it ever happened to you ? No ? Then I must be really unique. This just happened to me in the last 11 seconds and a few more times throughout everyday,last week. I must be going crazy or getting possessed. I started searching for the root cause of this crazy outcome. Yeah I know about depression and stuff and I’m not fucking depressed.

In my previous article “Finding someone in this world” I was talking about the ways to find someone. Then the next day I started to think if I really needed someone. I do not like 99.99% of the people, I don’t like the way the people are produced, I don’t like the lady thing,I don’t like being touched, I don’t like to adjust to someone’s fucking disgusting behaviour,I don’t like this, I don’t like that and blah blah blah. It scares me all the time. But death doesn’t scare me though. I never went straight up to a chick and asked her out. I never proposed a girl. I never thought about getting married and having a family. I never took a risk of loving someone who doesn’t fit my criteria. I got broken a few times, then I did not let myself fall for the shit peoole again. Fuck,it hurts a lot still. I just wished I had someone to share the pain and I am self-motivated kind of person but it would feel nice if someone says something nice to you to get your shit together. Someone appeared in my dream that night and he whispered in my ear,“you are a fucking coward, you can never take a risk, you fucking virgin,you can never fall in love again, you always wanted to give this amazing love you have inside,but you are fucking scared of the pain, you can’t even get a little bit of love, you fucking disgusting little piece of fucking Indian unlikable ugly 5ft 6inch tall shit. You should look at your fucking face before setting up your criteria for a girl,you faggot,you will die fucking alone,no family,no kids,you fucking feelingless machine. Get the fuck up.” After I heard this heartbreaking shit, the dude says,“How much you gonna pay me for motivating you ?”

But whatever the guy said,hit me really hard. I got to know what I am really afraid of. You should make your list of shits you are afraid of. I’m totally a fucking mess. Afraid of commitment, attachment, relationship, marriage and fucking kids. All because of the beautiful pain. Now I’m fucking lost. Maybe you are too. Maybe you are in the same confusing situation as I am in. I don’t know what to do anymore. No friends, family is shit and no gf. It puts a lot of shame on me. I have a fucking job,I am independent and amazing, I don’t expect a lot from anyone. Then why the fuck it scares me to take a step towards my future life ? What plan do I have ? Play game,drink beer,do shit with my dick,go to work,travel to new places, write songs,rap them,play a piano,play sports,go to gym,hike,ride a bike,swim in a sea,watch movies,watch series,write disgusting articles, disrespect every person in my mind,eat delicious food,checkout sex toys online for myself and for a friend ? These are my plans ? Actually it doesn’t sound that bad. I don’t want to follow the social procedure to live a life. I cannot even do that. If I get married and have kids, I will fucking kill myself probably. Calm down, psycho. I know what I want, but I don’t have a plan. Whatever plan I have,it ain’t gonna work out. It’s just so fucking scary. You get up from bed and stand up,then you look straight and you see nothing. Fucking blank as if you are standing on the edge,at the top of the world. Can you survive this way ? If I fall from there, will there be someone to catch me ?

I was listening to a song where Tupac says Fear is powerful than love. Now I can feel he is fucking right. In this fucking modern world, everything has become so temporary. Be it a relationship or a fucking apartment. Now why would I be in a relationship if I know it is not going to be permanent ? Love expires. I know even if I get a nice bitch, I will gain pain and nothing else. If I love you,you can hurt me so easily. That’s why I don’t like or love anyone. Fucking pain-proof. But how long will I be able to walk alone ? It’s scaring the shit out of me. Imagine living alone and getting sick in the middle of a night and no one to take you to the hospital ? Fockkkk. I don’t get lonely, I get scared. I got fear in one hand and love in other hand. Love of being with someone and fear of getting broken,are gonna make me alone forever,that I know. On top of that, feeling lonely even after being in a relationship,is just so fucking painful and dangerous. I’m not very good at breaking someone’s heart. I’m a different type of person I know. I think a lot and I analyze every little risk in everything I think. In India, arranged marriage is common. You will get someone in that process and she will never leave you,that’s 100 fucking percent sure. Even if you hate each other, you will stay together. Maybe I should try that. Fuck. I think it’s getting me depressed now. Where did I go wrong ? What is my fault ? Why did I make myself like this ? Who can guide me ? Is there really someone out there who thinks like me ? Do we really have a soulmate ? If I make myself blind, would it make a difference ?I never ask for help, but I really need help now. Before it’s too late. Before I start murdering.

– The Sir Sagz

Finding someone in this world

Warning : The below article might hurt your social media profiles,your society,your parents,your friends and yourselves. Read at your own risk,lonely people.

I stopped talking to my parents when they started talking about my marriage. They lost the war and apologized. What surprises me is that they are still not asking me why I don’t wanna get married. It’s been one year already since they started talking about this hot topic,but they never fucking asked me what’s my problem with getting married. These are the kind of people you should never take any advice from. Fucking brainwashed by the double-fucking society and it’s fucking blind ritual. I know they are never gonna ask me the reason, but I’m telling you people anyway. Don’t tell anyone. I don’t have any problem with getting married, in fact I would really love to get married to someone. The problem is with the “someone”. Who the fuck is this someone ? Where am I supposed to find this fucking someone ?

When I was a fucking stupid bitch, I tried to find someone to love in Orkut. It was the only social media I knew back in 2008. Got a bitch from there. Got fucked up in regular intervals. Learnt a few lessons in 2 years and became a stupid bitch. Then found some more bitches on Facebook later on and earned to be stupid. Then got another bitch from Instagram and now I’m full of wisdom. That’s why I’m sharing this knowledge with you. So if you are lucky, you might find the special someone from these fucking social media things where rich bitches are desperate for attention and the poor bitches are crying for money. Does that mean I ain’t gonna find love from Facebook or Instagram ? These are not for finding your love,you fucking moron,the sexy ghost whispered in my ear. What about tinder then ? A lot of girls are there who are looking for love. Yeah it’s true. But also they expect the guy to look like a fucking phony movie star and also they want the guy to love them truly. If someone looks so nice, why would he settle down for you,bitch ? I’m not that good looking, so the Indian brainless bitches don’t swipe me right. Anyway I don’t swipe in India. So tinder isn’t the right place to find love. It’s also same for other dating apps. Maybe some lucky people find their love from there.

What other way is there to find someone ? Through a friend ? That sounds like a legitimate business. Your mutual friend can introduce each other and then if you hit it off, you can sail right away. This is a valid process I agree because your friend can exchange the important information between the two parties and your friend could try to manipulate the two parties to have a relationship with each other. The loophole with this perfect process is that what if you are fucking lonely, awkwardly introvert and you got no friends. All you do is play games, masturbate and talk to random chicks on the internet about fucking tv series and then again masturbate with them. Fuck I’m spilling all my secrets. So I have no fucking friend and whoever I have I don’t trust them.

Seeing someone in a public place and going up to them and talking ? Have you tried this ? No, are you from the 90’s ? Let me explain all the possible outcomes of doing this stupidity. First of all, fucking bitches and ladies won’t come up and talk to a guy. Next, there is a 99% chance you will be fucking insulted and you will be asked to look at your face in a mirror, these boring bitches have not revised their response when an average looking guy approaches them,since Eve was created. Indian people know what I mean. Ok, next, this is 2019, no one is fucking single these days. Even ugly bitches have got someone to wipe their asses off. Only ugly boys/men like me are roaming around alone searching for a little bit of true love from anyone. We get to meet sexy ladies in our dreams. Next, if she is nice and single,she might gently tell you No or she may accept to go out with you. But the chances of this happening is negligible. So it’s not gonna work for me either.

What other way is there other than an arranged marriage ? Matrimonial websites ? This is totally applicable. You will find aunties and moms there. Lot of people want them sexually. Anyway, if you know someone who fits my criteria, let me know. Will ya ?10k prize money if I hit it off. If you are a female and impressed by this fucking article, give the fucking average looking nice genuine guy a chance. Don’t get fucked though. Don’t get pregnant at 16 or 66 by some good looking moron. Pray for me please, I might die alone.

– The Sir Sagz

Forgetting someone you loved

Warning : The below article might hurt your definition of love,your bf/gf/crush, your feelings,your society and your favourite celebrities. Read at your own risk,so-called lovers.

It was some date in April,2016. She had just broken up with me 18 minutes ago because she thought I cheated on her while the truth was that I was not in love with her anymore and I did not give her the love she wanted because she was not the type of girl I wanted. How did she know that I cheated on her,even though I did not cheat ? Her fucking can’t-see-someone’s-happiness type of gay guy friends told her that I was texting some ugly bitch to kiss. The truth : I texted the ugly bitch,“how old are you ? She says : why ? Do you want to marry me ? I sarcastically reply her : No I wanna kiss you.” End of chat. I still can’t believe she believed that I would want to kiss some bitch. She never knew me. It was fucking hurtful. It was like a fucking painful flash in my mind that made me realise how fucking fake such long hour calls were. Now you can imagine how fucking angry I was on this bitch who never knew me and was in a relationship with me. Even though I knew I did not want this fucking bitch anymore, I still wanted to be with her. Why was it like that ? Why was it so hard for me to get this fucking bitch out of my mind ?

I was talking to a friend who is still hung up on some guy she liked a year ago. But she ain’t accepting that. She never had any relationships. Actually she doesn’t have a bf yet even though she is gonna be 30 soon. What a lucky person!! So I was digging her brain at 3am and I got a lot of facts. Then I put the facts on the floor(I don’t have a table) and asked a question to myself why is it so hard to forget someone you loved. I have another friend who is living separately. Her husband used to abuse her. I was talking to her a few days ago. She says that she misses her husband sometimes. That was so fucking crazy to me. How can you miss a fucking ball-less moron who abused you repeatedly ? I didn’t ask her that because I already knew the answer. It’s not her fault. She lived with the fucking guy half of her life. Not the fault of the guy also,after sometime love will fade away. She will miss the fucking bitch even if he killed her. So now the question is why the fuck do we think about the asshole/bitch people even though we are trying to forget them ? What’s the logic behind this sickness ?

It’s the feelings. It’s the attachment. A friendly ghost whispered in my ear. I talked to the sexy ghost for a while. He says,once you make someone a part of your life, then he says,wait,let me give you a better example. once you like someone so much and let them live rent free at your place, when they fuck you up,you will want to kick them out but you still hesitate to do that because you really like them and want them to live with you. You kind of grow up to be dependent on them. You spent so much time with them. The good memories are still there. They override the bad memories when you miss them. Now you have got time but not them. It becomes so hard for you to just kill time. Fucking attachment. Fucking feelings. It gets easier only with time. Ironic. Also, it will make you a fucking monster in the end when you get fucked up so many times and you just don’t trust anyone and you become extremely selfish. That’s the key to happiness. Female people won’t become monsters. They will just cry and irritate you with the same bullshit thing you have heard thousand times. Don’t get a female bestfriend. Attention is much more important to them compared to happiness. Turns out the sexy ghost was myself,talking to me in my sleep. He had nice hair.

Anyway, how do you get out of such situations ? How do you forget someone who is not right for you ? You know you want to get them out of your mind but you just cannot. Relationship expert The Sir Sagz who holds an experience of more than 10 long distance relationships,says that, we are all human beings. We are built to have feelings for someone who is really nice to us. If you don’t get feelings for someone who is pulling his/her heart out for you, then either you are a fucking monster or they are ugly to your eyes. There is no escaping from this situation. If you are falling in love with some-fucking-one, you are still gonna miss them for a while even after you discover that they are fucking morons. That’s how the God programmed us to make his game interesting. You need experience to handle such situations. What I mean is, you need to go through these situations a few times to master the craft. Master the craft ? Become a fucking stone hearted person with no feelings for bullshit people. This will help you get the true love in life. People get married to their first or second love, that’s a fucking wrong move,90% of the time. You will have feelings for someone who cares for you, when you are not fucking backstabbed, assstabbed, dickstabbed and couple of other stabbings done on you. If you got some real shit, fall for someone after you are fucking used like a cum-towel. Oh it’s just some towel I use to cum on. It’s not easy to forget someone you loved, you saw something nice in them and that nice thing is still keeping them in your mind. But you can replace the picture in your mind. Not the best solution though. It took me a while, for about a year to move on. I was sad for a few days because I missed her. Then I was sad for a few more days because I missed the phone sex. Eventually I moved on and got better phone sex and video sex. You will find better things once you move on. Write it down on your bald head. Go through a few relationships and get broken a few times, but don’t get fucked, literally. Save it for the right person. The first person you fall in love is 101.9% the wrong person. You want to forget the fucking asshole ? Learn to convince yourself. Don’t give advice to others if you are a fucking slave of your feelings,bitch. I’m a slave of my brain. It took me three relationships to master the craft. You can master this shit too. You will not be able to forget the shit person but eventually it will not bother you anymore. Then you will die alone happily.

– The Sir Sagz

Juice’s dripping

I got six packs of abs in my belly
And she is got an ass that shakes like jelly
Wait…..

Pull my trouser down,I rip your blouse now
You get so aroused how,when I start to mount
You know my toy is brown, it’s going out of town
My Juice’s out of bound, you can’t even breath now coz you’re getting drowned,I kiss,your lips astound
Gonna put my dick in your mouth,it’s getting sticky
how’s that sound ?You know the route
Move your tongue around,up and down
My pole,lick it from north to south
In and out, you better make me shout
I’m about to go,loud,ask your friend to watch you blow,that cock, she’s allowed,the beats pound
I’m spitting the verse but you bit in my,ouch
I got a sick flow, suck me harder, get me a deepthroat
69 is the,pose, your lips know,gon’ go down a bit low
Imma play with this pinktoe,suck me like a sinkhole
My voice will get you vibra-ting moan,like a ringtone
On a sink though,lick ya like ice cream in a mint cone
A big O gon rush outta your clito,so wet,you nympho

I bet u in phase 2,I’ll lick u on the bed like spilled juice
‘N I kissed your neck too to shake through,I feel you
Getting in a great mood,I wanna bite you,so get nude
Get down ‘n let my tongue through to your Next boob
Squeezed it hard till I got a red view,fuck redtube
Imma make new,a category of sex,the craze grew
Your nipps so hard I knew,so I chewed ‘n screwed then I looked in your eyes,babe,why ’em so sensitive ?
Bend you over ‘n finger your pussy but I meant to
Caress u till u get so lubed,I lick,you get the best view
Babe you,lie on your back and get yo legs to loose
Gettin between yo thighs,now gimme a peg of juice
Imma eat your pussy like it’s the day to drool
I lick ‘n spit on yo clit like it’s your day to rule
Imma rub my cock on ya under the red ‘n blue,sky
Make you a messed Bleu ‘n I would love to ride
My precum is what my test threw,now suck me dry
Your pussy’s begging for something huge
‘N I’m called to the rescccue,yeah

Fuck my cock’s so sloppy,now stop I rub you fluffy
Till you beg me to fuck it,I’mmma edge your small clit
So How,does it,feel when my balls hit your jaws a bit
You roll your tongue in me,makes me pause a tick,yea
You look like a barbie with hard tits
I’m your great Gatsby with mad skills
Entering you bad bitch, tendering for hard hits
Remember I’m so nasty,you seen em in the last pics
Your pussy so tight,My rock hard cock gon’ blast it
Moving In and out slowly to a fast beat
Pulling your hair from the back while smashing
Why don’t you ask me,will you spank me Papi
I slap your ass cheek, till you spit some ahhh shit
Top to bottom,Keep grinding me,at peak
Imma dryhump you on this mattress
Not enough,Fucking your shy cunt with madness
You Must be getting closer, your eyes are closing
You’re losing,juices,dripping down your thick thighs
Your pussy’s oozing, Imma be sipping that big splash
Feels so soothing, I’m gonna cum now, are you gonna lick that or just swallow it or let the cum slip past
Your lips,Oh shit, I’m draining out,my cream splats
You came last,Yo body’s shaking like u got a seizure
You scream hard,You been bad
The session with your dream guy
Been a binge fuck,u like a mean jack,I fuck like a ninja
You are tired now,let’s get a neat nap,later I see ya😛

-The Sir Sagz

virgin/non-virgin Relationthing

Warning : The below article might hurt your non-virgin bf/husband, your feelings,your society,your parents and your pets. Read at your own risk,virgin people. This article might paralyze your thinking for years.

I was looking for love during my teenage time. Fucking teenagers. It was a simple time you know, you see a someone,he/she looks nice to your eyes, now you are in love with him/her. I loved that period of time. Not much factors to check if the person is eligible to be loved by you. I have been single for a long time. I did not even notice when the dating parameters got changed. Now if I see someone I like, I will have to go through my predefined conditions to check if she is satisfying the criteria. Fuck, feels like James Bond dating principle. When did the world grow up behind my back when I was masturbating ? I missed a lot of things. Like, what is sex ? When did this come to this world ? The fuck, why are people fucking each other ? Why ? None of my friends or none of my age bitches, was fucking when I was a kid. Why are they fucking now ? When did it change ? Why is it happening now ?

This brutal truth gave me a heartache for days. Everyone is fucking or getting fucked. Even brutally. Then I revised my dating conditions,added that a bitch must be a virgin if I want to date her. “Oh, you are so judgemental, you cannot say this. You should accept her. She did not just got fucked. She had a relationship with that guy. She loved him. How can you be so cruel and heartless to her ?” Shut the fuck up bitch. Stop right there. Fuck you and fuck whatever you just said. I’m a virgin and I ain’t accepting any bitch who is fucked. Ya I know you will accept a guy who has fucked before,even though you are a virgin. Maybe you got no standard of your own. That is why you bitches suffer when the guy you chose,leaves you after fucking you a few times, because it’s simply his nature.

It’s different for some girls. They are boring and almost asexual, so for them sex is like going to poop in the morning and looking at your toenails or poop. Sex doesn’t matter to them, even if a guy has fucked 19 girls,13 boys,9 shemales and 3 bitches(real adult female dogs),they will accept the guy if he is gonna put cheese in each sentence that comes out of his mouth. I remember a girl telling me never to think about a girl’s past. I told her,“Not everyone is a mother Teresa, you know.” If past isn’t important at all, why are you studying history in school ? Why these fucking people studying the shit for ages and doing big courses in history ? Why people are spending millions to find the truth about historical events ? Fuck that, why the fuck do you want to know where your fucking bisexual boyfriend was last night ? It’s already past. She reported my instagram account. Said I mentally fucked her. Girls are not that complicated when it comes to dating/relationship. Uh-oh, look who is talking. Girls want love/commitment/respect. Some of the girls think that it is also same for the ready-to-fuck-in-a-second type of guys. Wait, lot of us are like that. We want a different bitch every Friday night and Sunday afternoon. The boring guys will be nice. Go get ’em if you want a till-you-die long kind of relationship. Common sense is so rare these days. Forget the common sense, let me paint some nasty picture for you, let’s see if you can take it.

This is strictly a 25+ picture, anyone under 25 age, go back and watch kindergarten kids’ drawings. Also, whoever never watched any porn, go watch porn videos of each category at least once and come back. This is totally my perspective, it has nothing to do with you. Porn either ruined my mind or made me the brilliantly smart guy that I am today. Maybe both. Watch porn and save your life. Have you seen the things they are doing in there ? Putting their dicks wherever they see a hole. If you are a virgin, Will you accept a girl who’s been used like that ? I was pretty sure that these things could happen only in porn untill I watched some of the local sex videos where a couple were fucking while watching porn. Some local nice girl trusting her boyfriend and giving her body to him, the trustworthy bf puts the video in the internet to show the world how nicely he did it. I remember people saying that those fucking mouth or nasty things happen only in porn. Show them some local porn. Open their closed eyes. Now back to the topic, if you are a virgin guy, will you accept a girl who has eaten her ex-bf’s ughhhh ? Will you kiss the girl’s lips and will you lick her tongue, the same place where some fucking ugly guy’s dick was ? That means yeah you are licking the ugly guy’s dick. Someone stop my fingers from typing. Bomb the feminists if they are rushing to my flat. Ok wait, let talk about girls. Let’s say B(girl) had sex with D(guy). It’s pretty obvious how sex works. D fingered B. B sucked D’s dick. D licked B and fucked. Now imagine some girl’s P in D’s lips. So if you are kissing your guy,you are indirectly licking some girl’s P. Fuck, it’s ewwww. A lot of girl will find it revolting about her guy having sex with someone. But they don’t talk about the past. Is that why they are okay with dating a guy who has fucked already ? Because, it will be like the guy fucked the girl. So the girl is used and the guy is not. Is that what the girls think ? Fucking cheap bitches. Also it could be that sex has nothing to do with the asexual females, they want love. They are desperate for it. I’m still talking about the virgin girls. If they are still gonna accept a non-virgin guy then they are really broad-minded and nice, also could be so stupid. The non-virgin ones cannot demand anymore. But the non-virgin guys will get a lot of virgin girls because girls want someone with experience. I think I have this problem because I’m so fucking possessive and I don’t like my things being touched by others. Uh oh, things ? Human beings are things to you ? A bitch asked me on TalkLife app. Well bitch, I have much more respect and love for the things compared to people.

Why I want a virgin girl ? I think virginity for a genuine girl is priceless. You can’t buy the Virginity of a real girl. Fake bitches will give to anyone who looks nice to them. I want to see the trust in her eyes while I take her virginity. I want to look in her eyes and I wanna see her trusting me. Must be fucking beautiful. As I have already disgustingly abused a lot of nice girls in the previous paragraph, I can never accept someone who has given that trust to someone else. Plus the things I told about the dirty things people do in sex, you will not want to have those mental images. You will be ruined. It will hurt much more than a fucking dog bite,a snake bite and a gorilla fuck, combined. I want that priceless trust. This statement makes me look like a nice guy. Fucking nice words. Some people will tell you that you should date someone who has experience in sex because it will give you more pleasure. Really ? My heart is burning with the mental images and you want my dick to be pleased ? I don’t want your fucking experience gained with someone else. Gain experience with me. With that being said, if you give me a billion dollars and ask me to date a non virgin girl, I will take the money and I will hire a hitman to take the bitch down. Thousand dollars will also work for me.

– The Sir Sagz

The GOD’s interview

Warning : The below article might hurt your God’s feelings, your feelings, your priest’s feeling, the poor people’s feelings,the rich people’s feelings, your society, your terrorists and your ancestors. Read at your own risk,dead people.

Dear God,

Your interview has been scheduled at 9pm on 15th July with The Sir Sagz. Please be on time and bring a tequila bottle on your way. No, make it two. Someone is getting wasted tonight.

Thanks,
Sagar

I was playing snake game in Nokia 1100 mobile phone back in 2005. I lost several times though. At that time,mobile phone was new to me. Anyway, at the end of the game, somehow the vibration mode was activated automatically and I did not know how to deactivate that. Fuck, I did not even know why it was vibrating. That’s when I prayed to God for the first time to make the phone stop vibrating and it worked. I was so fucking surprised. Then I started to believe in God. I had a few more incidents when I asked God to help me out and it worked as well. It was getting scary. I always believed in Ghosts without a question. But to believe in God, it’s really not that easy. You will always have doubt in your mind. Maybe the God did not help me at all, maybe some devil liked me and helped me out a few times. Not impossible. Well the guy who did the homework got beaten up and I had not even touched my homework and nothing happened to me. It was an amazing feeling though.

I never go to temple or any place where they keep pictures or sculptures of gods and worship them. You have to remove your shoes before you enter the temple. At some temples, they will not allow you to enter if you have anything that is made of leather. Fucking fat priests. Why bitch ? Again, why someone has to worship the God for me ? I can just pay the priest and leave and he will worship the Gods for me. Again, why bitch ? Why can’t I just worship or pray to the God by myself ? Fucking indian people. They will say God is omnipresent and then they will go to a temple to worship the God. How stupid these people are ? You know in the ancient indian days, the Gods will make the kings dream that they want you to build a temple for them. Seriously God ? Why ? Why do you need a temple ? Maybe if there isn’t any temple, people will not believe that there is any kind God. Again, fucking stupid people.

Wait, there is more stupidity. A lot of people agree that there is a God who is really powerful. He can do thousand push ups in a second. He can bring the deads back to life. It’s like the most impossible thing in the world. If He can create the solar system and big animals like dinosaurs, then yeah obviously He is so powerful. Then why do people lock them in a temple ? Why do people make sure that nobody steals the God’s valuables ? Really ? People ? You can save the God’s valuable things from assholes ? So the God cannot protect his own amazing things ? The God can’t stop a hungry powerless thief from stealing his gold ? The God who is so powerful and protects you, you think you can protect the God ? Wait, why does a God need so many valuable things ? God answers, he does not need them, these fucking people think he needs them. I think the Christian God is different compared to the Hindu Gods. I have been living for 26 years, I didn’t get to see a God. Why is it so important for the God not to show up once in a while ? You know the God can see everything all the time right, it’s like they have got cctv cameras everywhere. So let me ask you God,do you watch people doing dirty things ? Fuck people, do you watch me while I do it ?

Dear God, I have no interest to ask you stupid questions like why you created the world and everyone, why there is pain and suffering and what is the meaning of life. I know you got bored and created a game to enjoy. This is the most amazing game I ever played, I agree. Whoever wins the game will get to go to the heaven and enjoy. That is the prize I guess. Then people copied your theory and created movies like hunger games. I would love to see you once in my life so I can poke you just to see if you are gonna say “ouchh”. Also, I think you are kind of boring and annoying. What kind of parent you are who creates his children,leaves them and never lets the children see their parent ? It’s really embarassing. You know how many fucking people are following your footsteps ?

I believe that you created a special person for each and everyone. Why not let them know their partners’ name and location when they get 16 years old ? It will save everyone a lot of time and heartbreaks. I know you want your game to be interesting. I know the intelligent ones will wait and search for the right one. But the stupid ones will just blindly fuck each other and destroy their lives,the lives you gave them. Indirectly they are destroying your most valuable property and you are not even saying anything. You just want them to punish after they die. I would also like to know if it was your game rules that people should get married. If it was you, then it’s a lame rule. Just because you don’t have to work to feed your kids, doesn’t mean the poor people can do the same. Maybe you can brainwash the people to not get married. Wait, I think you already brainwashed the people to suffer. I’m the one who understands how your brain works. I have the perfect plan to make your plan fail. But my fucking parents want me to get married. My plan is that nobody gets married and everyone takes care of each other. Why they shouldn’t get married ? Because once you are married, doesn’t matter how nice you are, you have to be fucking selfish. If nobody gets married, then there will be no suffering because we will help each other. If there is any asshole detected in my system, then he/she will be thrown to a gang of crocodiles for gangbang. I think this plan can fail your game. But people are too stupid and brainwashed to understand this shit. Fucking selfish people. One more important question, why is the child making process so disgusting ? What made you decide that a child should be produced this way ? I mean someone has to fuck someone, I don’t wanna talk about it, but I would like to know the answer to my question.

On the other hand, I’m blackmailing you now to make me a God otherwise I will turn the stupid people against you and make your game fail.

– The Sir Sagz