The GOD’s interview

Warning : The below article might hurt your God’s feelings, your feelings, your priest’s feeling, the poor people’s feelings,the rich people’s feelings, your society, your terrorists and your ancestors. Read at your own risk,dead people.

Dear God,

Your interview has been scheduled at 9pm on 15th July with The Sir Sagz. Please be on time and bring a tequila bottle on your way. No, make it two. Someone is getting wasted tonight.

Thanks,
Sagar

I was playing snakes game in Nokia 1100 mobile phone back in 2005. I lost several times though. At that time,mobile phone was new to me. Anyway, at the end of the game, somehow the vibration mode was activated automatically and I did not know how to deactivate that. Fuck, I did not even know why it was vibrating. That’s when I prayed to God for the first time to make the phone stop vibrating and it worked. I was so fucking surprised. Then I started to believe in God. I had a few more incidents when I asked God to help me out and it worked as well. It was getting scary. I always believed in Ghosts without a question. But to believe in God, it’s really not that easy. You will always have doubt in your mind. Maybe the God did not help me at all, maybe some devil liked me and helped me out a few times. Not impossible. Well the guy who did the homework got beaten up and I had not even touched my homework and nothing happened to me. It was an amazing feeling though.

I never go to temple or any place where they keep pictures or sculptures of gods and worship them. You have to remove your shoes before you enter the temple. At some temples, they will not allow you to enter if you have anything that is made of leather. Fucking fat priests. Why bitch ? Again, why someone has to worship the God for me ? I can just pay the priest and leave and he will worship the Gods for me. Again, why bitch ? Why can’t I just worship or pray to the God by myself ? Fucking indian people. They will say God is omnipresent and then they will go to a temple to worship the God. How stupid these people are ? You know in the ancient indian days, the Gods will make the kings dream that they want you to build a temple for them. Seriously God ? Why ? Why do you need a temple ? Maybe if there isn’t any temple, people will not believe that there is any kind God. Again, fucking stupid people.

Wait, there is more stupidity. A lot of people agree that there is a God who is really powerful. He can do thousand push ups in a second. He can bring the deads back to life. It’s like the most impossible thing in the world. If He can create the solar system and big animals like dinosaurs, then yeah obviously He is so powerful. Then why do people lock them in a temple ? Why do people make sure that nobody steals the God’s valuables ? Really ? People ? You can save the God’s valuable things from assholes ? So the God cannot protect his own amazing things ? The God can’t stop a hungry powerless thief from stealing his gold ? The God who is so powerful and protects you, you think you can protect the God ? Wait, why does a God need so many valuable things ? God answers, he does not need them, these fucking people think he needs them. I think the Christian God is different compared to the Hindu Gods. I have been living for 26 years, I didn’t get to see a God. Why is it so important for the God not to show up once in a while ? You know the God can see everything all the time right, it’s like they have got cctv cameras everywhere. So let me ask you God,do you watch people doing dirty things ? Fuck people, do you watch me while I do it ?

Dear God, I have no interest to ask you stupid questions like why you created the world and everyone, why there is pain and suffering and what is the meaning of life. I know you got bored and created a game to enjoy. This is the most amazing game I ever played, I agree. Whoever wins the game will get to go to the heaven and enjoy. That is the prize I guess. Then people copied your theory and created movies like hunger games. I would love to see you once in my life so I can poke you just to see if you are gonna say “ouchh”. Also, I think you are kind of boring and annoying. What kind of parent you are who creates his children,leaves them and never lets the children see their parent ? It’s really embarassing. You know how many fucking people are following your footsteps ?

I believe that you created a special person for each and everyone. Why not let them know their partners’ name and location when they get 16 years old ? It will save everyone a lot of time and heartbreaks. I know you want your game to be interesting. I know the intelligent ones will wait and search for the right one. But the stupid ones will just blindly fuck each other and destroy their lives,the lives you gave them. Indirectly they are destroying your most valuable property and you are not even saying anything. You just want them to punish after they die. I would also like to know if it was your game rules that people should get married. If it was you, then it’s a lame rule. Just because you don’t have to work to feed your kids, doesn’t mean the poor people can do the same. Maybe you can brainwash the people to not get married. Wait, I think you already brainwashed the people to suffer. I’m the one who understands how your brain works. I have the perfect plan to make your plan fail. But my fucking parents want me to get married. My plan is that nobody gets married and everyone takes care of each other. Why they shouldn’t get married ? Because once you are married, doesn’t matter how nice you are, you have to be fucking selfish. If nobody gets married, then there will be no suffering because we will help each other. If there is any asshole detected in my system, then he/she will be thrown to a gang of crocodiles for gangbang. I think this plan can fail your game. But people are too stupid and brainwashed to understand this shit. Fucking selfish people. One more important question, why is the child making process so disgusting ? What made you decide that a child should be produced this way ? I mean someone has to fuck someone, I don’t wanna talk about it, but I would like to know the answer to my question.

On the other hand, I’m blackmailing you now to make me a God otherwise I will turn the stupid people against you and make your game fail.

– The Sir Sagz

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Failed Parents

Warning : The below article might hurt your lovely parents’ feelings, your neighbors’ feelings and your society. Read at your own risk,kids. Content is limited to Indians. But you can relate it to african terrorists also.

Little bit about the author :

I am an Indian. I’m not a parent. I’m a 26 year old child/grown up, with a job. So I’m writing this article considering a child’s and a grown Up’s perspective. Fuck that. This is totally my view. Maybe you are somewhat like me and you will like this bizarre post.

Little bit about your parents :

Why do you think your parents had you ? Ever asked them ? Maybe because they did not know how not to have you. Other explanation is that they are selfish and totally brainfucked by their friends and society. What kind of married couple are you if you don’t have kids ? You don’t have balls or your wife doesn’t have the shit it takes to make a child. Whatever the reason is, I bet they wanted a child because they wanted a fucking bitch who will do whatever they will say. Not all parents want that. But the topic is failed parents. Doesn’t mean if your parents aren’t telling you what to do,they are not failed parents.

Little bit about a child’s view on parents :

Kwan ! Kwan ! Kwan ! Which loosely means fuck you bitch. That’s what babies say all the time. How many people have hugged you and kissed you when you were a little baby ? Literally everyone you met. Many of them are really ugly and smelling disgusting,putting their disgusting ughhh lips on your sweet cheeks. Who wouldn’t hate it ? Fucking people. Never thinking what a baby really wants. That’s really a baby abuse. Exactly,the parents do the same thing. They fucking don’t know what the baby wants. If the baby cries, they are gonna feed the robot. They don’t think anything else, maybe the baby wants to go bike riding. Think of this for a change. As a fucking child, I’m asking you,a fucking parent, what do you teach your kids ? How to watch YouTube videos ? What do you teach them other than teaching them to watch porn ? First of all, start from teaching them the meaning and value of life and difference between right and wrong. Fuck wait, you don’t even know the meaning and value of life, the fuck you will teach them about right and wrong. Anyway the first thing you teach them is lying. Look at the sky baby, that is your uncle moon.

A baby was talking to me a few days ago, she said, “foking bich pipul kip using us al tha tym for ther own selfishyness, thei neva thinkk what wi want, wi hav tu study shit and mek themm foking happi as if thei are foking gods”

Is this baby lying ?

Little bit about a teenager’s view on parents :

You know you get to understand some shit when you see hair growing around your dick or the magic thing. Then you become one existing human being. Before that you were just a fucking robot who takes orders. After the hair starts growing, you start saying No to your parents. As you slowly grow up, you go through some mental and physical change. You start to understand why they might not be your real parents. Fucking pressuring you to study all the time and score a big fucking score. If you are an orphan and you have foster parents,then you are a fucking king. But these kids who are produced and managed by their own parents, they are fucked up. These fucking parents forget that their kids are also human beings with feelings. Yeah I know the kids are so fucking wrong and they need guidance. Not your fucking disgusting rulling. The parents never understand the things happening in their kids’ minds. They are way too illiterate to understand this and also they have no time. Life is a gamble. How many teenage kids can say that they love their fucking parents ? Except the mumma’s gay boys and daddy’s lesbian daughters.

Little bit about my parents :

They are teachers but they did not teach shit to their kids. I learnt everything on my own. Starting from walking. All they did their whole life is going to school and coming back to home. Mother goes to sleep and father goes to gossip. There was no spending-time-with-the-kids moment. There was never a moment to check what the fucking kid is doing with his life. My mother did not even have to do any household chores. Other people were there to do those work at home. She just comes home from school and she is lying on the bed,dead. Father was always busy with his bullshit things those had no relation with the family. Who the fuck even allowed them to be parents ? Yeah, you love your parents even though they are same as mine, so fuck you illiterate bitch.

Now a lot more about me :

A fucking weird kid with extraordinary visions and simple dreams in life. A strong craving to do everything in life. Well I have almost tried doing a little bit of everything. Accomplished a lot of my small dreams, like I always wanted to get out of my fucking home and never go back. It’s done already. I have already painted a lot of pictures of my childhood. While kids were getting homesick in hostel, I was enjoying my life. Away from family fun.

I think I was kinda independent, free-spirited and strong-willed.

This statement is stolen from a friend who has initials R.L. This statement totally suits me though. I am so fucking independent since I have touched ground. I used to put on my own diaper when I was a baby. Maybe that’s why my parents ignore my mental thoughts all the time. Well fuck that thought. Other than spending money on the kids and taking care of kids when they are sick, if I start counting the number of things my parents have done for me, I will go fucking blank. Bitch if I wanted someone to spend money on me, I would get a fucking bank to loan me and a beautiful nurse to take care of me. I am not complaining that my parents never took me to a new place to visit or surprised me with an amazing gift. It’s fine. They are fucking poor. I understand.

What I am complaining is that, bitch if you did not raise me, if you were too busy to give me a little attention, who the fuck are you to order me to do shit now ? My aunt raised me, she is gonna get the payback someday. I got so fucking irritated last night, when they were asking me about my marriage. They met some motherfucking ugly fat illiterate bitch and they liked her and now they wanna match our stars and signs for the marriage. They don’t even know me, they don’t know what I do all day all night. Now they are gonna find some bitch for me. They always took my statement for a joke. I know this because I was telling them I will never come back to home once I go away. They were laughing and now I’m not coming back. I told them I don’t wanna get married because I hate each and every fucking person I see. This must have felt like a big joke to them. Well, they will get a surprise. They cannot even emotionally torture me. I’m not emotionally attached to a single fucking person. I’m so curious about my future. Yeah I am an asshole son, fuck you gay bitch.

– The Sir Sagz

Dead man drinking

Warning : The below article might hurt your dead relatives’ feelings,your feelings, your favourite things, your bf/gf, your husband/wife and your children. Read at your own risk. My condolences.

I was playing PUBG. It was almost midnight. I scored three chicken dinners back to back. I was so fucking happy and excited. I turned off my laptop as I was not gonna watch porn and was gonna lie on bed when something strange came to my mind. It’s usual for me. But it was something unusual which came to my mind. The question was, “who is gonna get my laptop when I die ?” This hit me hard. No wait, “what will happen to my gamesave when I die ?” This hit me even harder. Umm Wait,“If I am born as a human being, I will have to start the game from level zero.” This hit me the hardest. All these days, playing like a fucking maniac, getting high blood pressure, all means nothing ? All the hard work you have done, name and fame you have earned, I think it will stay in the record. But if you get another human being life, you will have to start from the ground. That is very irritating. Well it was just an example or metaphor,but this made me think about all the things we do in life, good or bad, whatever you do, everything stays in your record but not in your possession. Once you are dead, you own nothing. You don’t even own your body.

Wait,wait, let me rephrase that, average lifespan of human beings has reached 79 years. Dumb scientists. Does anyone really live that long ? What will you do for seventy fucking nine years ? No one will fuck with you after you hit 50. I mean you could be in the middle of a fucking at 49 and if you turn 50 by midnight, the bitch will leave you there with a boner. I was planning to live till 50. And if I’m still unmarried and hot looking, I may want to live some more. I cannot see myself old. Gonna kill myself. I’m very scares of being old. I have an attitude problem. I will better choose to die than ask you to help me. Once you are old, you need help. Also I cannot tolerate being ugly looking. I mean my body,not my face. Doesn’t it scare you ? I mean doesn’t death scare you ? Let me say it correctly, doesn’t death demotivate you ? It certainly does and will keep doing if you keep thinking about it more. Then we watch beautiful things and forget about death.

I think my grandfather lived around eighty years old. I was in Mumbai at that time. I went home for his funeral after my team lead forced me to go home. People were sad and crying at home. I did not feel sad, neither cried because it is a natural thing to die. I don’t become happy when someone is born either. People were making assumptions about me that yeah I was fucking sad inside. What kind of asshole people are those ? Let me tell you the reason, my grandfather’s sons, they never liked him, they would say bad things in his back,when he was alive. Now that he is dead, they want to be nice to him. Oooh, “don’t speak ill of the dead.” Well my grandfather wasn’t really a nice person. Neither my grandmother is. But they like/liked me, I will return the favor if I can. What I learnt after the death of my grandpa was that I could be Spiderman too. Then I realized that people would expect me to save them which I don’t wanna do. Jokes apart, I learnt how he lived such a wrong life. Maybe it made him happy living in the same place for so long. I cannot live in the same place for years.

How do you deal with death ? If I have a gf or wife and I really love her, I don’t think I can deal with it. People will say,“she is gone now,but she wants you to be happy,now move on.” Fuck you. Fucking people don’t know what you had with your loved one. If your love isn’t really true, you will definitely move on and find some another bitch and you will claim you are in love again. Also I know if I have a gf, she will definitely not want me to move on, she will not want me to be shared with another bitch, in fact she will want me to die and join her. It’s not easy to deal with death. I’m stone hearted to human beings since I was born. If I don’t fall in true love, I don’t think I will give a fine monkey’s ass about who is dying. Hmm, what about my parents death ? Will I be sad ? There is a 99% of chance that I will not be sad, death is natural. Maybe I don’t love them. Fucking death is so disgusting. If you are sad all the time, it’s fine to die. If you are living a really happy life, you will never wanna die. I don’t even wanna talk about death of a pet. I lost my rabbit to some fucking disease. It was so fucking hurtful. How do parents deal with a child death ? Life is such a sad thing. There is no winning here. Each second brings you closer to death. Maybe it’s a good thing. Few days ago, I was so fucking depressed because I was not able to find someone to be mine. I don’t think I will ever find. I think this article just changed my view towards everything. I’m glad I’m alive today and I’m glad I can be happy alone. Now not much people will be sad if I die tomorrow, that’s how I want it to be. What kind of fucking asshole you are if you die and make everyone sad ? But every now and then, you should check if you are dead already. Ask someone to pinch your nipples.

Is there a way to beat death ? Savitri did. She brought her husband back from death. Love makes us to want to live more. That’s what’s written in the big books. Also there is one more guy who also beat death. I think his name is Prahlad. But those are different stories,may not be real. People believe the gods are immortal which may not be true. They believe the Sun is a god, but He is dying. It would be amazing to watch the Sun die though. I think the reason the gods live long is that they live up above us so far away where time is relatively slow. Could be that their one second is equivalent to 100 years on Earth. Fuck, I want to be a God. Have you ever heard the people read the eulogy in funerals, on TV ? Why they always say nice things ? Except the one in the Charlie Harper’s funeral. Do you believe that the nice people die early ? I think if you are really nice, you will die really early,because the Gods think you have qualified to be a servant of them. That’s why you should never be too nice if you want to live long. Do some assholistic things along with nice things. Keep maintaining the balance and you might just become immortal. Confused ? One example, pee in your manager’s world’s greatest dad coffee mug but wash it and keep it where it was before. I think that’s why my grandpa lived so long. Fucking genius.

How do you live your life right before you die ? Do you have a wishlist to do before you die ? Do you know what you want ? Maybe you should make a list right now. You should not die with regrets. Again, if you complete your wishlist, shouldn’t you die and let your kids and others have the oxygen that you are gonna waste on breathing. I think it should be the responsibility of the senior citizens to donate their life for their grandkids. Fuck, I’m gonna get jailed for provoking people to suicide, logically. Suicide is a sin ? Why ? Because God gave you this beautiful human life and you decided to end it ? You are not worthy of taking your own life ? And only God is allowed to take your life ? If that is the case, why doesn’t he make your life ? Like giving you a billion dollars and asking you to do whatever the fuck you want.

My last will : I know people start crying and giving shoulders to family members when someone dies. It is actually nice. Helps with the pain. It’s very nice to know that someone’s being sad because you are sad. If I die unexpectedly after 289 years, I don’t think a lot of people will be sad because I don’t know a lot of people and I hate everyone. I am ok with it. But the day I die, I want my money to be sent for the animal welfare, if I have saved any. Also, I want someone to use my credit card and buy a lot of beer. I mean use all the credit available on my credit card and buy beer and chicken and give it to everyone. They should remember The Sir Sagz. Don’t inform the bank that I am dead. On my funeral day, I want some amazing rap songs to be played. And make a fucking big sculpture of myself and put it down near a beach. I wanna watch the birds flying over the sea at sunset. I’m just waiting for my Lawyer friend to make my will official. Guess you all will join my funeral themed,”dead man drinking.” Can’t wait to see that day.

– The Sir Sagz

No fuck, no life

Warning : The below article might hurt your GOD,HIS feelings, your feelings and your lovers. This article might corrupt/brainwash/ruin you totally or upto some extent. The below content is not for the weak-hearted people. Read something you don’t even think about,but at your own risk,bitch.

I was watching the modern family tv show. I cannot remember the season or episode number where Lily explains where babies come from. She says the woman has to drink some eggs and tadpoles,then the man and woman have to kiss and jump on the bed and after a year the woman pees and the baby comes out. I really wished that was true. Maybe it is true but nobody ever tried. Let me ask you, do you know where babies come from and how they are made ? Yeah you already know. If you are a woman, you will say, childbirth is fucking beautiful. If you are a man, you will say it is disgusting but you want a child.

Let me explain in an offensive anti-social way. To make a child, a guy has to fuck a girl and leave the disgusting thing inside her magic thing so she can get pregnant and make a child. That is the actual process. Offensive ? Sure. Now how many of us have really asked our parents how we were made ? Probably none, if anyone has asked, they might have ignored you like a homeless guy gets ignored in a busy street. Why they don’t tell us about it ? They want us to find it on our own as we grow up. This is one explanation. Another one as I think is, it’s simply offensive and disgusting. Love making is a myth. It’s just a nice sounding word for fucking.

Anyway, I think this is one of the reasons why I don’t want kids because making a child or as you say, making a life, is nothing but fucking someone and making her pregnant. No you are not making love to your husband, neither your husband is. There is no real effort involved in making a life. Explain me the hard work you are doing to make a life. You cannot. On the other hand, raising a child is fucking hard. Making a life is not. My friend was arguing with me that it was not at all fucking. She says that it’s pure love making that brings a beautiful life. She has this belief, I bet all the girls have this belief,that love making is real beautiful thing. I do not agree. It’s same as fucking, but the guy enjoys less and the girl enjoys more because it’s not rough ? Why I say it’s the same as fucking, is that, you can put a bullet in someone’s heart and kill him/her in a few seconds,also you can kill someone gently,nice and slow. The latter one is painful though. But the end result is that the motherfucking guy dies. The end result is that you are fucking or being fucked whether there is love or not.

If you are still wondering, yes your mom had sex with your father to have you. What makes me very angry is that, whoever the fuck designed this child making process, is really disgusting. Some sick mind pervert. Why someone has to fuck someone to have a child ? It just irritates me. No hard work is being involved to make a life. Again it’s not our fault. It’s the manufacturer’s foul play. Sick mind. I wish the child making process was simple and also it should require very high effort and dedication,like, if you two want to make a child, you should sit together in a room and do something for at least two days without eating or fucking and after two days you get a child. Fucking hate these human beings’ nasty processes.

If the Gods made the human beings, I got a lot of questions for them then. First of all, why is the God male ? Forget it. I think the reason HE made the life making process simple is that the people who follow the process, will have to suffer later for having a little more fun. HE is brilliant. Well his method of punishment is still working after so many years.

Yes you can put the men’s disgusting thing in your magic thing and have a baby without actually getting fucked. There are other processes also. But I think the GOD’s life making process ruined me. I hate myself and all of you for being created by this fucking process. I wish I was not born that way. It makes me disgust my own body. It makes me wanna throw up at times at work. It makes me wanna hate others’ bodies. Oh fuck, I think I understand now why I hate others’ bodies and why I hate being touched. This thing will never go away from my mind. I used to think if I am in love, I will let her touch me. Fuck I’m having second thoughts now. I don’t think I can do it. Fuck. Whenever I’m touching someone,my mind makes me think I’m touching that person’s father’s dick and mother’s thing. Think I’m gonna throw up now. Fuck, my mind is sick af. I can be totally wrong. When you are kissing someone, actually you are kissing that someone’s father’s sperm. Someone stop me before I ruin your mind too.

– The Sir Sagz

A strong woman tastes like a strong beer

Warning : The below article might admire your grandmother,your daughter,your mom,your sister,your girlfriend,your girlfriend’s mother,your lady-doctor,your female friends and etc. This article might also hurt your fucking bf/husband/father and random girls. Read at your own risk,bitch.

It’s almost 10pm and I am rushing out of work to the exit gate to catch the cab. I managed to reach there before time. So I’m standing there with a bunch of girls. Can’t see their faces in the dark. All of a sudden, It starts to rain and I ask the girl next to me if I can get under her umbrella. She approves me to get in. Why wouldn’t she approve, I wasn’t giving them any attention. If you don’t give your attention to unknown bitches, you are a fucking godlike guy in their eyes. It’s my philosophy,works 99% of the time. Now I’m standing next to her, so close, my ass is almost wet, due to rain,wondering if I could see her face. But you can’t look at someone’s face from so close, they might kiss you. I’ve never kissed. Ughhh.

Now I’m analysing some of the facts. She is independent and has a job, she buys her own fucking umbrella, is she a strong girl ? What if she is not independent,is she a strong girl ? She probably has a boyfriend or secretly dreaming to propose me,but if she has a bf, is she strong still ? What does a strong woman look like ? What makes her strong ? Is a bitch a strong woman ? If someone who doesn’t give shit to motherfuckers and minds her own business, can she be called strong ? Isn’t that something we call an arrogant bitch ? Does that mean an arrogant bitch is a strong woman ?

Let’s go back to the indian history,when children were getting married at 10 or 12 years old without knowing shit. I haven’t seen their struggle. But I can imagine it. Fucking in-laws, new home, new people and new shitty rules. It’s like going to a slumber party and not coming back and that house becomes your new home. Were those girls strong ? Physically and mentally ? Am I strong ? Fuck yeah, I was ready to ride even after a fatal motorbike accident. So physical strength, let’s ignore it, bitch you can eat some protein shit and go to gym, you are fucking strong now. Although being physically strong, can make you mentally strong too. Let’s talk about the strength that we don’t see. I see a lot of girls at my workplace. Being independent(not really) and all. Making money, drinking alcohol or giving money to their poor family. Does being independent mean you are a strong girl ? Not really. A lot of girls are emotionally unstable. Whoa ! Yeah, we all are,at times. But they somehow manage to look calm. Maybe only during the day time. Does this mean she is strong, if she can hide her pain and still be a nice person ? Yes she is strong in a different way. So, a prostitute or a pornstar, is she a strong woman ? I feel like saying fucking yes. She has the courage to do the things even gods can’t do. Who am I to argue now ?

Still not clear what makes a woman strong ? Let’s find some characteristics of a strong girl. Even a dependent girl can be strong. I think the girl who doesn’t really seek validation from others and achieves her goals honestly, is actually strong. A girl with intelligence can be strong. Someone who is not good looking but doesn’t give a shit about her look, can be a strong girl too. Someone who is struggling in a bad relationship or marriage,dealing with a fucking-abusive-ugly-ball-less-bf-or-husband and still trying to make it work for the sake of her children,can really be strong, stupid of course, but she is strong. Someone who has been so obedient to her parents her whole life and doing things blindly just to please her parents, can be strong. Again, stupid of course. Someone who doesn’t show her feelings,someone who doesn’t ask for help, someone who doesn’t accept others’ help, can be strong. It’s surprising how so many negative qualities actually make you strong.

Does this mean at some point of time everyone is strong ? Wait, what about the fucking teenagers who are showing off crying because their boyfriend left ? These fucking girls are disgusting. Yeah, I hear your complaint, you have to study a whole lot shit and you want to be counted as a strong girl. Bitch, everyone has to study. Nothing special about you. I will call you strong if you don’t get into a fucking relationship,study properly and grow some genuine standard,unlike mine. We learn from our mistakes as we grow up, we get changed, our mentality and thinking, everything gets changed. Do our mistakes make us strong ? Well pain changes people, we get pain from our fucking stupid mistakes,so yeah our mistakes make us strong. No mistake, no strength.

I have a friend who never had any relationships till 29. Not sure if she will get into one in future because I’m brainwashing her slowly. I know there are a lot of girls who also never had a boyfriend till they were 25 or 30 or 45. They may have some mental disorder. Other than that, if a girl doesn’t choose to have a boyfriend, is she strong ? Could be, she is self sufficient. Maybe she is like me, doesn’t really fit in with the motherfuckers. If a girl has a lot of guy friends and she takes advantage of them, can she still be a strong woman ? I think not. Someone who takes risks, deals with her mistakes alone,gets herself out of her fucking pain without asking anyone, can she be strong ? Fuck yeah. If you find one, let me know. Wait, so a lonely girl is a strong one ? I might agree with a 10% doubt. Discover these girls and bring them to me.

What about a mother ? Is she strong ? If she knows the meaning of being a real mother, if she has what it takes to be a real mother, she is definitely strong as a fucking storm. Just because you bear the pain of childbirth, you are not strong. No offence. I know a lot of bitch moms. For example : Eminem’s mother,Rapunzel’s mother, I can go on you know. What about the guys who are trying to become girls ? And the guys who are changing their sex organs ? Becoming a girl from a guy. I think it would take a whole lot guts to do that. Not sure if that means they are strong or not. Wait, if they can change sex, can they add additional dicks ?

The lawyer friend was asking me to make an article on ‘why it’s difficult for strong women to fall in love ?’ Interesting question there. I have already explained it somewhere in some article before. Maybe I’m getting a fucking deja Vu. I can explain the answer in a very simple offensive way. Ok here I go, A strong woman doesn’t need shit from anyone, plus she has got everything you all dick-danglers need. She has been with herself for a long time. She knows what she needs. She knows what you need. She doesn’t need you to buy shit for her. She can buy for herself. Then why the fuck would she be with you ? To have company or some emergency backup ? I know you all small-dick-one-ball guys want them to do shit for you while you lie down on the comfy bed. Why would she settle down for anyone who is not upto her standard ? Why would she let you stop her from achieving her goal ? If she finds one who understands her and supports her, she will definitely let her guards down for the guy. That is why they don’t mate with fake niggas with ugly driver license pictures. But you gotta tell them about me. Fuck, how do I know all these things about girls ? I’m possessed by some intelligent girl, I guess.

Why she tastes like strong beer ? Unlike a strong coffee, she is totally chilled and won’t burn your fucking mouth, she won’t keep you awake in fact she will give you a great sleep. Also she can cure some of your internal diseases and can prevent you from getting some diseases. She can get you addicted. She can also make you throw up. You should know your limits around her. In short, everyone is born fucking weak, except me, we gain strength from our mistakes, some become strong and some become stupid and do the mistakes again. So let me ask you, what do you taste like ? Yeah I am disgusting.

– The Sir Sagz

Global Warning

Warning : The below article might hurt your parents, your grandparents, your kids,your house, your garden, your money, your fucking gf,your tree-plantation-mission, your fucking office and your fucking vehicles . Read at your own risk,bitch.

Save water ! Plant trees ! Don’t use plastic ! I saw some girl’s whatsApp story after I got up this morning. I get fucking angry whenever I see these annoying posts. I mean who the fuck are you to order me to plant trees and save water,bitch ? Ok,I’m sorry, you are requesting,but who the fuck are you to request me ? What a horrible guy I am ? Right ? Fuck you. Untill unless something goes wrong or something goes violently fucked up, people won’t tell each other the right thing to do. Why the fuck they wanna take safety precautions now ? Where were they when everything was fine, Temperature was tolerable and no fucking glacier was melting down ? Nobody said a thing that we should be saving water or planting a tree. Now they fucked a lot of bitches,spread their fucking lavish family and made a dozen of fucking kids who are gonna grown up and fuck another dozen of bitches and each nigga is gonna make another dozen of fucking kids and this fucking process will keep going.

Now let me explain why I am being a big Martian dick about saving water or planting a tree on earth. Isn’t this fucking huge population the whole reason for this global warming ? It fucking is. I explained you how these fucking people are fucking each other like horny rats and making kids. Making a kid and sacrificing your bullshit love and shit is great. I agree. You are contributing to the society. It’s all cool. I cannot do that and I will not do that. But You are doing it, you are amazing. I agree again. Now let me ask you, how many more people can really be on this earth ? Don’t you think it’s enough already ? Maybe not impregnate a bitch and add some more people ? 7.8 billion fucking people are already fucking around and causing this temperature rise and making their own life hell. Now they are planning to move to some other planet so they can ruin that too. Fucking parents are not getting satisfied with one child anymore. Because my baby will get lonely. Assholes, you are already a fucking failed Parent, now you are making more and more kids who will suffer their entire life for you. You will be fucking dead in a few years but your kids will get to see the fucking hot weather that’s gonna come, maybe some glacier will fall on their fucking dicks. I think the god has asked human kind to have a child to carry forward the family, as per the sacred books but I don’t think He saw so far into the future. We are fucking burning ourselves now. Maybe your GOD was wrong.

If you love kids so much,why are you not adopting a fucking child who is left alone by his/her motherfucking parents ? Because you are fucking selfish ? I’m not doing it because I’m not qualified to parent a child. Also I’m a fucking asshole. What about you ? Your fucking parents will not approve ? You do not want to adopt someone else’s child ? But when you fuck a single mother, you accept her fucking kid. Why is it different ? Because you did not get to fuck the mother of the orphaned kid ? A lot of women are nice and kind when it comes to accepting someone else’s child, I know they would love to adopt a child and give him/her a beautiful life. But what would the motherfucking family and the society would say about this ? Right, is this the reason ? Or you just want your own blood running through the family ? Right.

If the population is the whole reason for the global warming, why the fuck would I save water or plant a fucking tree so some assholes can breathe peacefully in the future. Bitch, I will be dead in 10-15 years, maybe in 20 years,max and I wanna see your suffer. Why are we trying to do things to save assholes rather than saving the earth that gives you life ? Why there is no control over population ? Why the fuck these poor people are allowed to make a child ? They can’t afford to give the child anything, then why are they fucking suffocating someone’s life and making them die in poverty ? Why are the ones,who are not contributing anything to the universe, allowed to breathe ?

You are not seeing the big picture. You are fucking selfish. You are making this world unsafe and unhealthy for your own kids. Also, you are bringing your own kids to a unhealthy world. No one is gonna listen or understand the shit I have been trying to explain untill another fucking disaster comes and kills their fucking family members. I don’t think still you will understand the shit. As an educated human being, I think you know the process how this global warming thing is putting his dick in your ass. Your fucking car, that you use to ride around in the middle of the night with drunk bitches inside, is gonna run over you slowly. But you don’t know that because you don’t see the big picture.

Forget everything, answer me this, tell me any problem,no matter how small or big it is, isn’t it linked to the huge population somehow ? You can’t get a hard dick, linked to huge population. You are fucking lonely, same reason. You are fucked up in a relationship, same reason. You are poor, you are rich, you have cancer, your have STD, you have 12 hours of working a day, you have a fucking gay ass ugly manager, you got a fucking fake friend, your grandfather touches you at night, name any problem, it’s all because of this huge population. Instead of asking me to save water, maybe bitch don’t make a child and adopt one or kill thousands of people for no reason. I feel like the terrorists are not really killing people, they are actually saving the other people who they are not killing. After all, that’s what they say in the end, it’s all Allah’s will.

– The Sir Sagz