A letter to my Son

Dear Sagz jr.,

This is your father writing this shit for you and it is September 2019. I do not agree with the God’s method of reproduction that is why you will never see me. That’s right, not gonna make you out of sexual pleasure. This is why I don’t believe the God created the human beings. But I want to tell you what we could have done if we had met. Even though I’m your dad, you will call me “The Sir Sagz”. I show love through my actions,not by saying fucking cheesy words. You will be inheriting my billion dollars. Yeah I’m Kidding. Don’t accept money from anyone if you have not worked for it.

Right now I’m at work, watching “The Punisher” series, 2nd season 8th episode and writing this letter for ya. Finished my work early. Always make time for yourself to do amazing things in life. Learn Kung fu soon. You might have been doing your stupid homework now. Listen to RAP music or watch TV while doing it. Learn to multitask from an early age. Never listen to a fucking love song. You can thank me later. I will be back from work around 9.30pm and then we can go for the Piano class. We can form a music band. Rap our own stories. Some kids come to the music class also. You can be friends with them. It’s cool to have friends who have the same hobbies. Don’t be friends with a bitch. You might be sleepy by 10.30pm but don’t sleep early. A silent night can give you a lot of insight. Be wise to utilise it. Err just kidding, you are fucking 10, let’s play game and shoot people. You can learn a lot from playing game. I made 20k rupees from playing NFS most wanted game and saved hundreds of hours from wasting on people. Time is unmeasurably valuable. Be sure to invest it properly. As the guy says in the series “Dark”, Time is God. I guess “Time is money” has outdated now. Sleep well. I have some private things to do now.

It’s Saturday already. We will go to play squash in the morning,same as everyday. I will teach you how to play. You are gonna sweat your ass off. Then we can eat some slices of a cake on our way back. Sweat hard so you can eat sweet things without thinking about your health. Then we workout at home while the music says “I’m a motherfucking beast”. Need to stay in shape. Not to look good to others but to yourself. We don’t show off to everyone. Only to people we like. Then go to school and I will be going to work. Be nice to the kids and teachers at school,even though they are fucking assholes. Mind your business, study well whichever you like the most. If someone fucks with you, show them what kung fu looks like. We do not accept defeat neither failure. I don’t know the meaning of respect,so I cannot teach you that. I know the meaning of disrespect, so don’t disrespect anyone for free. Don’t share your food with anyone who has money to buy. When you come back from school, go play some sports with your friends. Stay fit. If it’s weekend, we will write songs and then practice rapping. No you cannot say bitch in your bars if you have not earned a bitch in life. You can say slangs including motherfucker, but not to people.

I’m a bad influence but you can trust me. Do not follow me, but keep track of my footsteps and my bike tracks when We go on a bike ride in the afternoon. You will fall in love with your new bike though. In future, you will fall in love with some pretty girl. You should have that best feeling in the world at least once in your life. Life is not that long to keep falling in love again and again to feel the same thing and waste time. We have important things to do in life. Keep moving. I believe in being selfish and doing a lot of things. You should believe in it too. Remember, the secret to our happiness is, being selfish and helping others. I’m desperate to do new things in life. You should too. When I die, you should write “The sexy who tried to do everything” on my tombstone. Yes, death is normal. We do not celebrate when someone is born, we don’t cry when someone is dead.

Someday you might ask me the meaning of life. I searched a lot and finally decided to settle down with my answer. There is no meaning. You get birth,do things and die. Now it’s all upto you what kind of things you want to do. You should not listen to anyone. Including me. But you should know the proper meaning of right and wrong. You don’t have to do crazy things in life. Do normal things in crazy way. Be distinctive. We do not follow the herd. We do not lead the herd. We are nowhere near the herd and we do not give a shit to any fucking herd. We do our own shit and do not spend a second on others if there is no benefit for us. It’s your decision to get married and have family if you want. It’s nice to have a family to look after you and have your backup. Do not lie to someone you care for. We lie to people we don’t care for.

Son, a few last things to remember :
Have big dreams, whether you can achieve them or not. Keep trying. Speak softly. Do not raise your hand on your gf/wife/daughter or any female you know/do not know. Neither on any males. But you can kick their asses if they deserve it. Play a lot of games, it will help you take wise decisions smartly. Love yourself first. Donate money,things,shit, whatever you can,how much you can. We do not run after anything, unless it’s called happiness. Do not owe anything to anyone. Give more than you receive. Recognition of your great work is not important. Most importantly, be nice to everyone. If you have to kill someone,watch Dexter,have a back-up plan and hide evidence.

Your amazing Dad
The Sir Sagz

Mr. Nice Guy

Warning : The below article might hurt your best friend,not so close friends,your parents acting as friends,your grandfather’s friends, and people you might have a fight with for a seat in a bus. Read at your own risk,my sexy fans.

I joined my training for a real job back in March 2015. So we had like 40 guys in a group. All dicks. Literally. The selector must have been a very horny woman. I met some people there,made some friends and made fun of people I did not want to know. Few days later,the HR shows up and says she wants to play a game. At that precise moment, I was telling my friend,“fuck,this is it,hope she plays with me first and you all are getting a treat tonight.” Yada yada yada, she asks us if we know each other well and I’m telling my friend again,“yeah,well enough to gangbang you right here right now.” Then she asks us to know each others’ hometowns, languages, characters and all. It was a fun activity. Then later there was a test where people were divided into groups of four and there were characteristics of each teammate written on cheat papers and we had to guess the teammate name based on whatever was written on the paper. Interesting game but I was not interested in playing with dicks. So the question is,how do you know the character of a person ? How long does it take to know someone ? What are the qualities of a good guy ? Who is a fucking nice guy ? Can a handicapped guy be nice ? What is the definition of a nice guy ?

This is totally my view. A guy’s view on nice guys. No partiality. A few months ago, one of my cycling partners gave me a treat in an expensive restaurant. To be honest I really don’t know her well and she doesn’t know me at all. I mean even you people know me more than she does and still you never gave me a fucking chocolate. Shame on you. We just ride bikes on weekend and don’t talk or text. Oh fuck,does she love me ? A big Nooo. Then why the treat ? She must be rich. Whatever, does she think I’m a nice guy ? Definitely yes. You won’t treat an asshole or a bitch to dinner,like you don’t treat me. So dear children, what did we learn from the above story ? The sir Sagz….. Me,Me,Me,Me.. Yes Jiji,you go, we learnt that even though you are an asshole, you still can be a really nice guy if you pretend to be. Correct, well that’s the truth in today’s world. Lot of bad people pretending to be nice to achieve shit in life and I’m pretending to be a bad guy.

Definition of a nice guy(N.G) : Respects citizens, specially teenage girls, bitches, women,old women,dead women and….I think that covers almost everything. Isn’t it what female persons have defined a N.G. ? Someone who says you look sexy,hot, beautiful,takes care of you, respects your decision or opinion, parties with you and importantly values you In his/her life,can be called a nice person. First of all a N.G. cannot be compared to the fucking people and you already know their qualities. Let me share something you might not have noticed and you will get to know it when you get closer to them. There is a Proverb in my local Odia language,it says that the further the mountain is,the more beautiful it is. Get it ? You can marry that person in indian style and you will get to see their different versions after some period of time because nice guys can lie their ass off to get what or who they want. But they will give you the real pleasure. They might be boring much of the time.Yeah, you can manipulate them because they do not have much self-esteem as they try hard to impress others. I think the not-so-good-looking people are nice because of that reason and most of the good looking ones are assholes. Someone tell this to those 17 year old school kids who fuck with them. A N.G. may not have much confidence because he has the tendency of trying to be the best rather than accepting what he is and may not accept/justify his actions at times. He is probably gonna accept his mistakes and ask for forgiveness because he is scared of ruining his relationship with you. After your break up, he is probably gonna blackmail you maybe because they are not always matured. Yeah, they fake maturity. He will do anything to please his parents,which is a good thing but not so good if his parents are doing wrong things like being fucking corrupted people. Read the other definitions online or search “nice guy” in pornhub. Now you must be re-thinking about your friendship with the guy who texts you every morning,“good morning, Beautiful sunshine😍.” You can friendzone them easily. Yeah they are desperate for love. They don’t like being single because they think they deserve to be with someone beautiful as they are nice. They will be trustworthy bfs. Anyway,does this mean nice guys are really jerks just pretending to be nice ? Yes,Jiji,sometimes. Jiji : Then who should I date ? Who should I get married to ? The Sir Sagz : Find a real man. Jiji : Like you ? Ooh ho ho ho No, I’m more than that. What did she say ?

Benefits of being a nice guy : If you are consistent with your N.G. appearance,you can achieve a lot of things in life. If you keep being nice to that good looking girl,after her break up with an asshole,she will give you a chance. If you keep licking your boss’ fat ass, you will get a good raise, promotion and stuff. People will say nice things about you to their kids and you could be a hero to the society if you donate and help in some social activities. Once you achieve a lot of things, you will be a fucking asshole in the end. You can abuse your wife and kids, still you can be a nice guy to other people. So the definition of a nice guy is a relative term. People choose who they want to be nice to. Somehow it depends on you too. If you are nice to someone,he/she will be nice to you. Not always true though. If you can’t, just pretend to be, I think it’s ok to pretend to be nice to a stranger,otherwise you might lose your life.

Nice guys can be fake. But assholes are always real. How ironic ! Who do you want ? Someone who just agrees with you no matter what you say ? Will you be okay with someone is being so worried for you 24*7 ? What’s the difference between a N.G. and a gentleman ? Manners maketh man. What makes a gentleman ? If you read this article, are you going to change your behavior to be a better you ? Will you treat me now ? Be nice to each other,look out for each other. I’m not a nice guy. But a lot of girls say I’m nice and I give them big Os. But every person I meet is by default a fucking moron to me, as time passes by and you behave well, your designation is upgraded. I just ignore everyone’s existence. But I do believe in helping out anyone who is in need. Thanks for the applause kids. Tell your moms to ring me around midnight.

– The Sir Sagz

Fucking scenes

Warning : The below article might hurt your mentality,your favorite movies,your favorite TV series,your top actors and your friends’ preferences. Read at your own risk,blind people.

Name a movie or TV series, I will tell you what happened after 51 minutes. If I cannot give me 30 minutes, I will tell you the whole story from the beginning till the end. Yeah sometimes I watch the movies at 1.5x or 2x speed depending on how interesting the movie is. On an average, I watch at least 5 movies and 2 seasons of a series in a week. I learn shit about life from there without actually going through the shit. No I do not like bollywood movies or series,there are a few exceptions. I would rather break my bed into pieces and sleep on the cold floor naked than watching them. Once I lost a girl because she loved bollywood movies and I did not. Can you believe me ? I used to like bollywood movies when I was a kid with no knowledge or personality. Then I grew up and listened to RAP songs(only the real shit) and my life got totally changed. Got this amazing won’t-give-a-pubic-hair-to-you-bitch type of personality. Really proud of my negative qualities.

First of all, if you are not watching anything,that means you are blind and a blind person is very ineffective compared to someone who is watching shit. Yeah, I mean if you are not watching movies or series. They are my teachers. Starting from English to life-lessons,even if to killing someone and destroying the evidence, I learnt everything from them. Love those shit. What I don’t like is why do they have to show some fucking scenes in them ? There are so many good movies with fucking romantic half-naked scenes. What are the directors and producers trying to achieve ? Oh, it’s the buttload of money by showing some actress’ butt and boobies. In that case, I would say, hats off to the moviemakers. So if anyone is stupid then it’s the people. We pay to watch them. A lot of people like watching hot scenes in movies. This is the reason such boring movies still make some money to pay their actors and they still keep going. If there is no nudity,why would the fucking people watch them ? People with their girlfriends will be coming to theatres just to squeeze their boobs on the corner seats. If the movies don’t have a huge fanbase or a very interesting/amazing story and acting, no one is going to watch them. A great movie does not need any nudity. But a great TV series definitely has a lot of total nude fucking scenes.

Let me explain why I do not like watching bitches showing their things in movies/series. Let’s say I’m watching a great movie. Some great story. Unbelievable acting. There is no need of seeing someone fake fucking in it. I can watch it in porn. Yeah you are gonna say it fulfills the story and connects to the audience. But seriously, if they can get in a room and close the door, I will have the picture in my mind. I do not want to see what they are gonna do in there. Why would I watch semi-nude fucking scenes ? I can watch it in porn anyway I want. Hentai,BBW,femdom, fucking machine,dwarf etc etc. Do you get it now ? They are just simply ruining my mood and the movie with these disgusting scenes. If they think they are good at making romantic scenes, why don’t they start making porn ? It’s even more money in that business.

So who is a pervert now ? Fuck,it feels like I’m a fucking nice guy. Remember watching some nice king kong or crocodile movie with your parents ? Then king kong gets horny and starts to squeeze the girl’s boobs, remember it ? 😂 Where were ya looking at that time ? How many nice movies have been ruined because of these things ? Can’t blame all on the moviemakers, you all and the stupid money-seeking actresses are to be blamed as well. You still go to watch those movies,you still squeeze boobies or you get them squeezed by someone. What if everyone stops watching those movies ? Will that make a difference ? No,these fucking kids want to see their favourite actresses groped and dry-humped by villains. Why do these actresses even do it ? Maybe they don’t have that much talent. Also, if someone doesn’t do it,someone else will do it and take the money. It’s all about money,my friend. What do you think ? Do those scenes justify their purpose in a movie or series ?

– The Sir Sagz


Warning : The below article might hurt your fucking strength, mentality,family, friends, colleagues,the government and your God. Also the article might give you strength and encouragement and can change your perception towards life.

Killed herself. Hung herself from the ceiling fan. Jumped off the bridge into the river. Cut his wrist. Drank poison. Shot himself in the head. Threw himself under a bus. Overdosed herself. I have read all these things online/offline and even I have seen the videos which gave me fucking nightmares for life. So guess what, I’m fucking experienced enough to write this shit. Everytime I hear the word suicide, I think of “suicide squad” and then I think it should be “suicidal squad”. In 2015, 828,000 people committed suicide worldwide as per the Wikipedia data. Such a huge number. What gives someone that much courage to kill oneself ? I wanna know that secret. It’s a fucking superpower. I know I can never suicide no matter what. I might kill some people,but suicide is a no-no. Bitch,I worked so hard every morning to have a good looking body, I ain’t giving up on my body. What a self-centered bitch! Personally I don’t give a monkey’s black oval ass if you live or die unless you owe me some shit or I want you. On the other hand, if you can kill 1999 people, I would love to hire you for personal purposes. So, what causes suicide ? Do only human beings commit suicide ? What about animals ? Did the dinosaurs demolish themselves ? If you killed yourself by mistake,is that a suicide ? If someone can kill himself/herself,can he/she kill others too ? What are the symptoms of a suicidal person ? Is it worth it to kill yourself ? What is the prevention then ? Ever thought about it ? Who is selfish now ?

Can a blind person suicide ? I don’t think so. He/she must be having so much energy to get up everyday to hear the things that he/she cannot see. That’s a whole new world they are living in. Fuck, I wanna have that experience. Someone blindfold me for a month. That’s it,I’m writing an article on the blind people. Anyway, pain,stress, depression or disorder : aren’t these the reasons why we sacrifice our life ? I think there are many more reasons but you will find these in the root of them. I’m tired of writing shit about pain and struggle. Let’s cut to the chase, pain is inevitable. Stress is fucking inevitable and yes if they can get in your head,they can kill you. Have you seen the Mentalist series ? Some psychologist was persuading his patients to kill themselves. Mostly hurt and vulnerable people go to psychologist and yes he/she can and he/she will get in your head. They have the potential to make you kill yourself. That is why in the end of every movie, the hero gives a long boring speech to the villain to get in his head,when he knows he cannot kill the villain. Use this on your opponent in real life. Pay me 1000$ for giving you the secret. What else can force you to kill yourself ? If you are way too bored with your life, will you kill yourself ? Don’t think so. What if you have a bucket list, everything you ever wanted to do and you don’t have anyone who is dependent on you, then you should kill yourself. I mean, you already did what you wanted to do, now you are 75, it takes you 19 minutes to just pee,then why just sit on a chair all day and waste oxygen. Be wise and die. This could be my story. If you are suffering from some horrible disease which has no cure and people are suffering because of you, then you can kill yourself rather than letting the disease take your life. You will be doing a favour to everyone. Also, if you think you are really a fucking asshole, yeah you should commit suicide. Nobody wants you to be wasting space and oxygen. And what the fuck is with killing yourself because a fucking bitch or a gay nigga broke your heart ? Grow the fuck up. You better kill that fucking 300 pound fat shit rather than killing yourself. I train in killing others,enroll quickly,few seats left.

Symptoms of a suicidal person : If you know someone well, you will definitely notice even the slightest change in their behavior,that is if you are not a so fucking self-centered bitch. If you want to save a life, try practising reading people’s mind and behavior whenever you see one of them. It’s your responsibility to take care of the people you like. Notice if they have a change in their thinking. Notice if they are talking about self-harm even in a jokingly manner. We all joke about our pain so that others won’t know about it but we all want someone to understand our pain. Don’t mind the fucking 14 year old kids wishing they’d die. Let them die. If you catch someone trying to commit suicide,calm them down,show them some porn,give them their favourite food to eat,ask a bitch to give them lap dance when they are eating chicken drumsticks,they should know how fun it is to live life even though there is a lot of pain. Once they are healed and happy, beat the shit out of them. Keep an eye on what your loved ones are doing when they are alone. Close your eyes when they are playing with themselves. Ask them about life and stuff, talk to them once in a week at least. There are a lot of lonely people now a days,technology divided us,they have no one to talk with, they are most vulnerable. Give the lonely guy a chance, they have the best love in the world to give. Check with your over-working colleagues and ask them to have a party sometime. Don’t listen to your parents if you are independent. Their advices are outdated. Talk to a friend who has experience about some shit. Talk to me if you are fucking broken and have no one to talk with. Females only. I’m always free. I will give you a night to remember. I’m not being naughty this time. I have been through a little bit of shit of each type and every time I fixed myself. I can fix you. Yes I care for you, females only. Kidding.

Prevention : I already told you to be fucking selfish. Don’t even try faking to be a nice person if you are not. Be selfish, give yourself priority over anyone else,whether it’s your kids,parents, friends or even the love of your life. Take care of yourself first. If you feel great enough, take care of others you like. That’s my personal advice. Don’t be serious always. Take shit lightly. Smoke weed once in a while but be independent first. Don’t waste your father’s fucking money,bitch. If you want to die, clear the dependencies first. Be sure no one cries once you are dead,else you are doing a wrong thing. If you can’t handle the pain of heart-breaking or something even worse than that, then stay away from the shit that can cause pain. Why do you think I’m fucking single ? Be a god among the monsters. Do shit that can inspire others. Don’t follow the fucking bitches. There is no official method that can be deployed and can make you suicide-proof. Just use your fucking brain. Calculate the outcome,pros and cons before killing yourself. Again, talk to someone. Update your Facebook status that you are gonna kill yourself,someone might help you out. Don’t be like me, I do not accept help because I’m an arrogant bitch and I can take care of myself. You can not. Ask for help. Fuck it, cry for help. It’s alright to cry. We all are born crying. Except I. It’s ok to cry when you need help. Have some friends. Whether close or long-distance. Everything matters at the eleventh hour. If you are a guy, then probably no one will care, take a sleeping pill. Think again after getting up. Still suicidal ? Take another pill. Still suicidal ? Create one fake account with a girl’s name and picture, a lot of bros will fight with each other to listen to you. Do whatever the fuck you can, save yourself. You matter. You can make a difference. Become a soldier and die for your country rather than killing yourself for nothing. You will be proud of yourself. I do not want you to die when it’s not the time to go, so stay. A lot of people need you, you just do not know that. Rest in peace to all those people who have left already,I’m sorry I was not there for you.😔

– The Sir Sagz

Snatch the Happ-iness

Warning : The below article might show you the right way to enjoy life. You might have a deja Vu while reading the below post and you might get knocked out. Read the below article at your own risk and find the key to some real happiness.

The last time I was happy,was when I celebrated my fake birthday with a real friend. I was real drunk with a fake alcoholic drink. Oh wait,it was two nights ago. I have a tendency to forget some shit. Keeps me happy. I get at least two orgasms a day so yeah I got the trick to catch happiness and experienced enough to write the article. But yeah it’s fucking hard to be happy consistently. Only the lucky ones get to taste the real happiness once in a while unless you are a fucking kid who poops and pees on bed. You should try this. You can get riches and bitches,still you may not be happy. Why do you think rich singers and movie stars suicide ? Are you happy with your life and whatever the fuck you are doing ? What makes you happy ? There are a billion things those can make you sad but only a few ones can make you happy. Who can make you happy ? Where can you get happiness from ? How long it takes to earn happiness ? Why do these Indian people have a fucking name called “Happy” ? Why the fuck is this bitch wiggling her ass ? Why the fuck is this pussy meowing ?What is the definition of happiness ? You won’t find this shit on the internet.

I have never talked to any elderly people about life. Where I grew up, the things I learnt from old people are only filthy foul languages and curses. So I guess they were not really happy with their life. I never talk or spend time with any kid because I don’t want them to notice the secret of happiness that early. Anyway, I spit fucking words all the time and it’s because I am angry and the filthy words are really funny. Oh fuck, wait, does this mean, if you are angry, you are not happy ? But I’m happy with myself and angry at everyone else. Well, you cannot have two feelings at the same time. I can. What is happiness ? Ask a kid, you will get a funny answer. Ask an employee, you will get a sad answer. Ask a rich person, you will get a different answer. Ask a poor, you might cry if you are kind. Ask a Sagz, he might send you his naked picture. Different things make different people happy. Fuck wait again,people also make people happy. A gf/bf will make someone happy for a few days and ruin their lives later. A prostitute is a better option in that case. She will make your night/day colorful whenever you want. If you are looking for physical happiness,it’s really easy. Yea sex makes everyone happy. Unless you are asexual. What makes an asexual happy physically ? Do they have dicks and pussies ? Money,sex,drugs,food, alcohol and materialistic possessions make us happy in one way or the other. These can be called the catalysts of happiness.Money is so fucking important to be happy. It’s true. The world has been designed this way. But once you have a load of money, this shit ain’t gonna make you happy anymore. Same with your love of life. It’s always about the pursuit. Watch the fucking movie “the pursuit of happiness” or read the book. We keep pursuing after things or people during our whole life. We achieve them, then we keep hankering after someone/something else. Fucking human beings. Be it a career or the love of your life. There is no end. So you have to settle down to be Happy ? Doesn’t that mean you are not improving yourself ? If you are not growing in life,what’s the point of living ? Maybe grow a little bit,become happy for a while. Then back to the struggle again. A competitive person is never happy. Prove me wrong if you can. What about a business man ? Cursed. A student who studied hard and failed ? Happiness ruined for a year ?

The big mystery…. What can make you really happy ? I mean mentally happy. Relate it to yourself. Doing a lot of things in one day will make me really happy. That’s the key to my happiness. Things like getting up early,going to play squash with a fat guy, having a nice breakfast,working out on my invisible abs, listening to angry rap songs loudly, writing down a few bars cursing bitches, then going to work,watching my pending tv series while sexting a friend on my other phone,writing a new article cursing people,watching people suffer at work,then coming back, Cycling a bit in the rain,grabbing a beer on my way back home,drinking and playing game on my laptop,naked,while talking about life and stuff with a friend,later the same conversation leading to a phone sex, then having a sexy dinner,later at night doing naughty things online with a hotty stranger and going to sleep. That is my ideal way to get happiness. Once in a while I would love to travel to some new calm places and look at the sky,watch the birds fly,hear the sound of the water flowing,watch the sun go down,watch the darkness coming and the light going away. Thinking about it is giving me fucking chills. I donate money and I will buy food for any poor guy who will ask me for money, it really makes me happy. Ops I did not say anything about having a girlfriend. Fuck,maybe I don’t need one. A family and kids will not make me happy. That’s what I know for sure. Others’ happiness will not make me happy. I never say I’m happy for you because I am not. I never will be. I’m very self-centered, anything others do or will do, has no impact on me, unless I have feelings for them. Being selfish makes me happy. Let me rephrase that. Giving priority to myself over anyone or anything else, makes me happy. Still I help people and I try to make others happy. It makes me happy too. I won’t be able to make someone happy if I’m not really happy. In that case, fuck you bitch,suck a dinosaur’s dick. People who say I’m happy for you, are lying to your face. Think of this way, if my bitch gf cheated on me with a street dog and I’m fucking sad, how your happiness is gonna make me happy ? Then there are those fucking parents who expect their kids to score well in school and do really amazing in extracurricular activities,so they can be happy. What the fuck is this really ? Why the fuck a kid has to suffer shit to make you happy ? These fucking kids don’t even think of anything,they die trying to make their parents happy. Bitch if you want to be happy, why don’t you do something with your life that will make you happy rather than asking your kids to do shit. It’s really stupid to depend on someone to make you happy. Again feelings make our intelligence flow down the drain. We are all stupid when we are in love. Then we get more pain compared to the happiness we get. The fucking person gives you the pain. Love is beautiful. But you bitches blame on love anyway. The first step to happiness could be not being so much dependant on others. Why do you think countries got Independence ?

This world is competitive,no doubt. You don’t struggle, you die. We often forget to have a real smile or a real good laugh with the daily wear and tear. When we are alone, we realize what really makes us happy. You should never ignore the feelings you get when you are alone. That’s what makes me a genius of feelings and stuff. Been alone my whole life,so I have cracked all the codes of all types of feelings. Including happiness. Be alone once in a while. See what you are feeling. See what you wanna do. Feel what makes you happy. Travel inside your mind. Find inner peace in there. If a fat panda can find it,so can you. Then do that shit that makes you happy till you get bored. Then repeat the process. Watch some funny cartoons or things those make you happy. I still watch them. Read some funny article or read mine. Talk to a close friend in the middle of a night or talk to me about the things you cannot tell anyone,we can have phone sex later. Do whatever the fuck you can to have a laugh by yourself. You might have seen me laughing when I’m alone. You should too. It’s very rare these days. You deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy.

– The Sir Sagz

Cheat codes

Warning : The below article might hurt your bf/husband/gf/wife and yourself. If you are cheated on already/you are going to cheat/you are currently cheating(right at the moment) take a two minutes break and Read the below article at your own risk.

I was in a long distance relationship with a girl from Bangalore. She did not show up for a year. No text,no call,not even a bullshit lie. I moved on,someone proposed me,I did not think who I really wanted. Accepted. Few months later, the Bangalore girl shows up, texts me on FB with a bullshit lie that her father died. I still had feelings for the B-girl, I did not know what I should tell to this new girl. It felt like I’m going to cheat on this new girl,if I do not tell her that the B-girl was trying to be back in business now. Anyway, I told the new girl about it and shut the B-bitch down. Few months later, the new girl blamed that I cheated on her and she dumped me. Now I’m having a lot of free time to write shit like these. Did I cheat when I was with this new girl ? Yes I did. Does she know about it ? Not yet. Why did I cheat ? Answer is loading……

Fuck my view. Why do you cheat ? Let’s wait for that. Focus on what the fuck is cheating ? Is it fucking with someone else when you committed to someone ? Is it lying ? Is it breaking your promise ? Is it hurting someone who loves you ? Is it stealing the delicious chicken legs from the kitchen and blaming it on the fat cat you saw on pornhub ? Is it cheating if you are in a relationship but you are not in love ? The dictionary says cheating is acting dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage. Then I would say whatever I said above,all of them count as cheating. Who do we cheat on ? People we love ? Why do we cheat on the people we love ? Why can’t I cheat on a crocodile ? They already look sad and dead and pretending to be fine all the time. Does it mean, you need to have some fucking relationship in order to be capable of cheating ? Fuck,so I can’t even cheat. Let me rethink. Maybe we can cheat on people or animal or whatever it is, if we love them. So love is the real reason behind cheating. No love,no cheating. Note it down. On the other hand, if you tell your partner that you want to fuck someone or get fucked by someone and your partner is okay with it, then it’s not cheating,right ? Fucking human beings. A fat guy/girl cheats on himself/herself when he/she is trying to get slim but eats my fish cake that I have hidden under the freeze. Oh, so I can cheat without a relationship. I just have to be fat for that.

Then how do you cheat ? Try to squeeze the balls of a big bull from behind, you will get the answer right on your face. It’s a fucking stupid question. The real question is why do we cheat. You can already read the answers on Google. Let me tell you in short, men cheat because of sexual dissatisfaction, no other significant reason. Women cheat because of sexual dissatisfaction, unavailability of commitment/attention/love/care from their partners and a thousand more reasons. What other spectacular reason is there,which you can’t find on google ? Let me think why I would cheat. If I’m forcefully in a relationship,there is a chance I would cheat and make sure she doesn’t find out. Yeah it’s possible, I can’t break a girl’s heart, if she proposes me, I’m gonna say yes. It was the past-me, the present-me doesn’t accept anymore. There may be many people like me who don’t like breaking someone’s heart,there is a chance they will cheat on you. Next, I would cheat even if I’m sexually satisfied, if my opinions, suggestions and requests have no value or ignored by my partner. That can be called not getting mentally satisfied. When I say I’m gonna cheat,that doesn’t mean I’m gonna fuck someone,No,if I don’t love you, I will not even stand close to you,you could be a supermodel,but your skin in disgusting to me. I may sext or video-fuck you. But other people will fuck in real. Who is disgusting now ?

So if your lover cheated on you, then it’s his/her fault and your fault too. If you can’t keep your partner satisfied, don’t get into a relationship with that person who has high expectations from you. Go for someone who matches your vibration. Is this the solution to cheating ? How can you prevent your lover from cheating on you ? I bet everyone is interested to know. The important one is to find the right person for yourself. Know someone really well before choosing them for lifetime. Visit every dark corner in their minds. But one simple solution is maintaining the consistency of your love,respect and sex for each other. Men will straightaway cheat if their partner is not providing enough fucking sessions. God made the womenkind sexually energy less and the mankind, totally freaking sex-robots, to make the game interesting. Proof ? I’m 24*7 horny. You should get someone who matches your sexual energy. On the other hand, women become sex-less after having kids,that’s why there are a lot divorces after a girl becomes mom. I don’t know how to deal with it. It’s all God’s plan. So if both the partners provide enough sexual and mental satisfaction to each other, then there is a very less chance of any cheating. Also, if you have a big family, lot of people living in your home, there is a very very less chance of cheating because you will be busy as shit. Trust me on this. I think a better communication is a key to no cheating. You should express your concerns to each other rather than hiding them. Women hide and they get cheated on. Keep no secret. You should talk about little things which are bothering you, be totally open to each other. You should tell your partner if any of his/her action is bothering you and be a good listener for fuck’s sake. Small things will give you a big blow in the end. On a bigger note, learn to masturbate for Pete’s sake. Satisfy yourself sexually if you are not getting it from your partner. Don’t cheat,you disgusting filthy fucking rat. A lot of women tell me to be with a girl physically rather than masturbating. Why would I fucking depend on a bitch to satisfy me ? I have become too independent. Fucking cursed. I do not cheat. I always give warnings if you are doing something I don’t like. We are done after three strikes. Plus I hate each and every single one of you. If my partner doesn’t keep me happy, I won’t cheat and I will get rid of her. Don’t cheat,if you are not happy with the relationship, get some fucking courage to say it to their faces. Don’t be on a break like Ross and fuck someone. If you can’t help but cheat, then break up, don’t be in a relationship and fuck or get fucked as much as you want. Don’t hurt someone,you fucking white/black/brown moron. Be honest with yourself and to your partner, do nice things in life, you might get the pass to heaven or prepare your holes to get fucked by the devil in hell. Please send me the video.

Ops forgot to answer, I was stupid and really had no idea about relationship or anything. I was so fucking immature and I cheated. It was sexting. Will it happen again ? Never. I’m matured and full of wisdom now. Yes I am the one who wrote the article.

– The Sir Sagz

Fear the feelings

Warning : It’s not a funny post. The below article might hurt everyone you know and yourselves. Read at your own risk, no-plan-guys.

Have you ever felt so amazing because you are so unique ? Then you burst into tears for like three seconds, because you are so fucked up and that you don’t like anyone anymore ? Then right in between third and fourth second, you start laughing silently because everything is so unimportant to you ? Fucking job and fucking money. In the sixth second,you get so motherfucking angry because you feel so lonely and lost ? Has it ever happened to you ? No ? Then I must be really unique. This just happened to me in the last 11 seconds and a few more times throughout everyday,last week. I must be going crazy or getting possessed. I started searching for the root cause of this crazy outcome. Yeah I know about depression and stuff and I’m not fucking depressed.

In my previous article “Finding someone in this world” I was talking about the ways to find someone. Then the next day I started to think if I really needed someone. I do not like 99.99% of the people, I don’t like the way the people are produced, I don’t like the lady thing,I don’t like being touched, I don’t like to adjust to someone’s fucking disgusting behaviour,I don’t like this, I don’t like that and blah blah blah. It scares me all the time. But death doesn’t scare me though. I never went straight up to a chick and asked her out. I never proposed a girl. I never thought about getting married and having a family. I never took a risk of loving someone who doesn’t fit my criteria. I got broken a few times, then I did not let myself fall for the shit peoole again. Fuck,it hurts a lot still. I just wished I had someone to share the pain and I am self-motivated kind of person but it would feel nice if someone says something nice to you to get your shit together. Someone appeared in my dream that night and he whispered in my ear,“you are a fucking coward, you can never take a risk, you fucking virgin,you can never fall in love again, you always wanted to give this amazing love you have inside,but you are fucking scared of the pain, you can’t even get a little bit of love, you fucking disgusting little piece of fucking Indian unlikable ugly 5ft 6inch tall shit. You should look at your fucking face before setting up your criteria for a girl,you faggot,you will die fucking alone,no family,no kids,you fucking feelingless machine. Get the fuck up.” After I heard this heartbreaking shit, the dude says,“How much you gonna pay me for motivating you ?”

But whatever the guy said,hit me really hard. I got to know what I am really afraid of. You should make your list of shits you are afraid of. I’m totally a fucking mess. Afraid of commitment, attachment, relationship, marriage and fucking kids. All because of the beautiful pain. Now I’m fucking lost. Maybe you are too. Maybe you are in the same confusing situation as I am in. I don’t know what to do anymore. No friends, family is shit and no gf. It puts a lot of shame on me. I have a fucking job,I am independent and amazing, I don’t expect a lot from anyone. Then why the fuck it scares me to take a step towards my future life ? What plan do I have ? Play game,drink beer,do shit with my dick,go to work,travel to new places, write songs,rap them,play a piano,play sports,go to gym,hike,ride a bike,swim in a sea,watch movies,watch series,write disgusting articles, disrespect every person in my mind,eat delicious food,checkout sex toys online for myself and for a friend ? These are my plans ? Actually it doesn’t sound that bad. I don’t want to follow the social procedure to live a life. I cannot even do that. If I get married and have kids, I will fucking kill myself probably. Calm down, psycho. I know what I want, but I don’t have a plan. Whatever plan I have,it ain’t gonna work out. It’s just so fucking scary. You get up from bed and stand up,then you look straight and you see nothing. Fucking blank as if you are standing on the edge,at the top of the world. Can you survive this way ? If I fall from there, will there be someone to catch me ?

I was listening to a song where Tupac says Fear is powerful than love. Now I can feel he is fucking right. In this fucking modern world, everything has become so temporary. Be it a relationship or a fucking apartment. Now why would I be in a relationship if I know it is not going to be permanent ? Love expires. I know even if I get a nice bitch, I will gain pain and nothing else. If I love you,you can hurt me so easily. That’s why I don’t like or love anyone. Fucking pain-proof. But how long will I be able to walk alone ? It’s scaring the shit out of me. Imagine living alone and getting sick in the middle of a night and no one to take you to the hospital ? Fockkkk. I don’t get lonely, I get scared. I got fear in one hand and love in other hand. Love of being with someone and fear of getting broken,are gonna make me alone forever,that I know. On top of that, feeling lonely even after being in a relationship,is just so fucking painful and dangerous. I’m not very good at breaking someone’s heart. I’m a different type of person I know. I think a lot and I analyze every little risk in everything I think. In India, arranged marriage is common. You will get someone in that process and she will never leave you,that’s 100 fucking percent sure. Even if you hate each other, you will stay together. Maybe I should try that. Fuck. I think it’s getting me depressed now. Where did I go wrong ? What is my fault ? Why did I make myself like this ? Who can guide me ? Is there really someone out there who thinks like me ? Do we really have a soulmate ? If I make myself blind, would it make a difference ?I never ask for help, but I really need help now. Before it’s too late. Before I start murdering.

– The Sir Sagz