The GOD’s interview

Warning : The below article might hurt your God’s feelings, your feelings, your priest’s feeling, the poor people’s feelings,the rich people’s feelings, your society, your terrorists and your ancestors. Read at your own risk,dead people.

Dear God,

Your interview has been scheduled at 9pm on 15th July with The Sir Sagz. Please be on time and bring a tequila bottle on your way. No, make it two. Someone is getting wasted tonight.


I was playing snakes game in Nokia 1100 mobile phone back in 2005. I lost several times though. At that time,mobile phone was new to me. Anyway, at the end of the game, somehow the vibration mode was activated automatically and I did not know how to deactivate that. Fuck, I did not even know why it was vibrating. That’s when I prayed to God for the first time to make the phone stop vibrating and it worked. I was so fucking surprised. Then I started to believe in God. I had a few more incidents when I asked God to help me out and it worked as well. It was getting scary. I always believed in Ghosts without a question. But to believe in God, it’s really not that easy. You will always have doubt in your mind. Maybe the God did not help me at all, maybe some devil liked me and helped me out a few times. Not impossible. Well the guy who did the homework got beaten up and I had not even touched my homework and nothing happened to me. It was an amazing feeling though.

I never go to temple or any place where they keep pictures or sculptures of gods and worship them. You have to remove your shoes before you enter the temple. At some temples, they will not allow you to enter if you have anything that is made of leather. Fucking fat priests. Why bitch ? Again, why someone has to worship the God for me ? I can just pay the priest and leave and he will worship the Gods for me. Again, why bitch ? Why can’t I just worship or pray to the God by myself ? Fucking indian people. They will say God is omnipresent and then they will go to a temple to worship the God. How stupid these people are ? You know in the ancient indian days, the Gods will make the kings dream that they want you to build a temple for them. Seriously God ? Why ? Why do you need a temple ? Maybe if there isn’t any temple, people will not believe that there is any kind God. Again, fucking stupid people.

Wait, there is more stupidity. A lot of people agree that there is a God who is really powerful. He can do thousand push ups in a second. He can bring the deads back to life. It’s like the most impossible thing in the world. If He can create the solar system and big animals like dinosaurs, then yeah obviously He is so powerful. Then why do people lock them in a temple ? Why do people make sure that nobody steals the God’s valuables ? Really ? People ? You can save the God’s valuable things from assholes ? So the God cannot protect his own amazing things ? The God can’t stop a hungry powerless thief from stealing his gold ? The God who is so powerful and protects you, you think you can protect the God ? Wait, why does a God need so many valuable things ? God answers, he does not need them, these fucking people think he needs them. I think the Christian God is different compared to the Hindu Gods. I have been living for 26 years, I didn’t get to see a God. Why is it so important for the God not to show up once in a while ? You know the God can see everything all the time right, it’s like they have got cctv cameras everywhere. So let me ask you God,do you watch people doing dirty things ? Fuck people, do you watch me while I do it ?

Dear God, I have no interest to ask you stupid questions like why you created the world and everyone, why there is pain and suffering and what is the meaning of life. I know you got bored and created a game to enjoy. This is the most amazing game I ever played, I agree. Whoever wins the game will get to go to the heaven and enjoy. That is the prize I guess. Then people copied your theory and created movies like hunger games. I would love to see you once in my life so I can poke you just to see if you are gonna say “ouchh”. Also, I think you are kind of boring and annoying. What kind of parent you are who creates his children,leaves them and never lets the children see their parent ? It’s really embarassing. You know how many fucking people are following your footsteps ?

I believe that you created a special person for each and everyone. Why not let them know their partners’ name and location when they get 16 years old ? It will save everyone a lot of time and heartbreaks. I know you want your game to be interesting. I know the intelligent ones will wait and search for the right one. But the stupid ones will just blindly fuck each other and destroy their lives,the lives you gave them. Indirectly they are destroying your most valuable property and you are not even saying anything. You just want them to punish after they die. I would also like to know if it was your game rules that people should get married. If it was you, then it’s a lame rule. Just because you don’t have to work to feed your kids, doesn’t mean the poor people can do the same. Maybe you can brainwash the people to not get married. Wait, I think you already brainwashed the people to suffer. I’m the one who understands how your brain works. I have the perfect plan to make your plan fail. But my fucking parents want me to get married. My plan is that nobody gets married and everyone takes care of each other. Why they shouldn’t get married ? Because once you are married, doesn’t matter how nice you are, you have to be fucking selfish. If nobody gets married, then there will be no suffering because we will help each other. If there is any asshole detected in my system, then he/she will be thrown to a gang of crocodiles for gangbang. I think this plan can fail your game. But people are too stupid and brainwashed to understand this shit. Fucking selfish people. One more important question, why is the child making process so disgusting ? What made you decide that a child should be produced this way ? I mean someone has to fuck someone, I don’t wanna talk about it, but I would like to know the answer to my question.

On the other hand, I’m blackmailing you now to make me a God otherwise I will turn the stupid people against you and make your game fail.

– The Sir Sagz


Failed Parents

Warning : The below article might hurt your lovely parents’ feelings, your neighbors’ feelings and your society. Read at your own risk,kids. Content is limited to Indians. But you can relate it to african terrorists also.

Little bit about the author :

I am an Indian. I’m not a parent. I’m a 26 year old child/grown up, with a job. So I’m writing this article considering a child’s and a grown Up’s perspective. Fuck that. This is totally my view. Maybe you are somewhat like me and you will like this bizarre post.

Little bit about your parents :

Why do you think your parents had you ? Ever asked them ? Maybe because they did not know how not to have you. Other explanation is that they are selfish and totally brainfucked by their friends and society. What kind of married couple are you if you don’t have kids ? You don’t have balls or your wife doesn’t have the shit it takes to make a child. Whatever the reason is, I bet they wanted a child because they wanted a fucking bitch who will do whatever they will say. Not all parents want that. But the topic is failed parents. Doesn’t mean if your parents aren’t telling you what to do,they are not failed parents.

Little bit about a child’s view on parents :

Kwan ! Kwan ! Kwan ! Which loosely means fuck you bitch. That’s what babies say all the time. How many people have hugged you and kissed you when you were a little baby ? Literally everyone you met. Many of them are really ugly and smelling disgusting,putting their disgusting ughhh lips on your sweet cheeks. Who wouldn’t hate it ? Fucking people. Never thinking what a baby really wants. That’s really a baby abuse. Exactly,the parents do the same thing. They fucking don’t know what the baby wants. If the baby cries, they are gonna feed the robot. They don’t think anything else, maybe the baby wants to go bike riding. Think of this for a change. As a fucking child, I’m asking you,a fucking parent, what do you teach your kids ? How to watch YouTube videos ? What do you teach them other than teaching them to watch porn ? First of all, start from teaching them the meaning and value of life and difference between right and wrong. Fuck wait, you don’t even know the meaning and value of life, the fuck you will teach them about right and wrong. Anyway the first thing you teach them is lying. Look at the sky baby, that is your uncle moon.

A baby was talking to me a few days ago, she said, “foking bich pipul kip using us al tha tym for ther own selfishyness, thei neva thinkk what wi want, wi hav tu study shit and mek themm foking happi as if thei are foking gods”

Is this baby lying ?

Little bit about a teenager’s view on parents :

You know you get to understand some shit when you see hair growing around your dick or the magic thing. Then you become one existing human being. Before that you were just a fucking robot who takes orders. After the hair starts growing, you start saying No to your parents. As you slowly grow up, you go through some mental and physical change. You start to understand why they might not be your real parents. Fucking pressuring you to study all the time and score a big fucking score. If you are an orphan and you have foster parents,then you are a fucking king. But these kids who are produced and managed by their own parents, they are fucked up. These fucking parents forget that their kids are also human beings with feelings. Yeah I know the kids are so fucking wrong and they need guidance. Not your fucking disgusting rulling. The parents never understand the things happening in their kids’ minds. They are way too illiterate to understand this and also they have no time. Life is a gamble. How many teenage kids can say that they love their fucking parents ? Except the mumma’s gay boys and daddy’s lesbian daughters.

Little bit about my parents :

They are teachers but they did not teach shit to their kids. I learnt everything on my own. Starting from walking. All they did their whole life is going to school and coming back to home. Mother goes to sleep and father goes to gossip. There was no spending-time-with-the-kids moment. There was never a moment to check what the fucking kid is doing with his life. My mother did not even have to do any household chores. Other people were there to do those work at home. She just comes home from school and she is lying on the bed,dead. Father was always busy with his bullshit things those had no relation with the family. Who the fuck even allowed them to be parents ? Yeah, you love your parents even though they are same as mine, so fuck you illiterate bitch.

Now a lot more about me :

A fucking weird kid with extraordinary visions and simple dreams in life. A strong craving to do everything in life. Well I have almost tried doing a little bit of everything. Accomplished a lot of my small dreams, like I always wanted to get out of my fucking home and never go back. It’s done already. I have already painted a lot of pictures of my childhood. While kids were getting homesick in hostel, I was enjoying my life. Away from family fun.

I think I was kinda independent, free-spirited and strong-willed.

This statement is stolen from a friend who has initials R.L. This statement totally suits me though. I am so fucking independent since I have touched ground. I used to put on my own diaper when I was a baby. Maybe that’s why my parents ignore my mental thoughts all the time. Well fuck that thought. Other than spending money on the kids and taking care of kids when they are sick, if I start counting the number of things my parents have done for me, I will go fucking blank. Bitch if I wanted someone to spend money on me, I would get a fucking bank to loan me and a beautiful nurse to take care of me. I am not complaining that my parents never took me to a new place to visit or surprised me with an amazing gift. It’s fine. They are fucking poor. I understand.

What I am complaining is that, bitch if you did not raise me, if you were too busy to give me a little attention, who the fuck are you to order me to do shit now ? My aunt raised me, she is gonna get the payback someday. I got so fucking irritated last night, when they were asking me about my marriage. They met some motherfucking ugly fat illiterate bitch and they liked her and now they wanna match our stars and signs for the marriage. They don’t even know me, they don’t know what I do all day all night. Now they are gonna find some bitch for me. They always took my statement for a joke. I know this because I was telling them I will never come back to home once I go away. They were laughing and now I’m not coming back. I told them I don’t wanna get married because I hate each and every fucking person I see. This must have felt like a big joke to them. Well, they will get a surprise. They cannot even emotionally torture me. I’m not emotionally attached to a single fucking person. I’m so curious about my future. Yeah I am an asshole son, fuck you gay bitch.

– The Sir Sagz

Dead man drinking

Warning : The below article might hurt your dead relatives’ feelings,your feelings, your favourite things, your bf/gf, your husband/wife and your children. Read at your own risk. My condolences.

I was playing PUBG. It was almost midnight. I scored three chicken dinners back to back. I was so fucking happy and excited. I turned off my laptop as I was not gonna watch porn and was gonna lie on bed when something strange came to my mind. It’s usual for me. But it was something unusual which came to my mind. The question was, “who is gonna get my laptop when I die ?” This hit me hard. No wait, “what will happen to my gamesave when I die ?” This hit me even harder. Umm Wait,“If I am born as a human being, I will have to start the game from level zero.” This hit me the hardest. All these days, playing like a fucking maniac, getting high blood pressure, all means nothing ? All the hard work you have done, name and fame you have earned, I think it will stay in the record. But if you get another human being life, you will have to start from the ground. That is very irritating. Well it was just an example or metaphor,but this made me think about all the things we do in life, good or bad, whatever you do, everything stays in your record but not in your possession. Once you are dead, you own nothing. You don’t even own your body.

Wait,wait, let me rephrase that, average lifespan of human beings has reached 79 years. Dumb scientists. Does anyone really live that long ? What will you do for seventy fucking nine years ? No one will fuck with you after you hit 50. I mean you could be in the middle of a fucking at 49 and if you turn 50 by midnight, the bitch will leave you there with a boner. I was planning to live till 50. And if I’m still unmarried and hot looking, I may want to live some more. I cannot see myself old. Gonna kill myself. I’m very scares of being old. I have an attitude problem. I will better choose to die than ask you to help me. Once you are old, you need help. Also I cannot tolerate being ugly looking. I mean my body,not my face. Doesn’t it scare you ? I mean doesn’t death scare you ? Let me say it correctly, doesn’t death demotivate you ? It certainly does and will keep doing if you keep thinking about it more. Then we watch beautiful things and forget about death.

I think my grandfather lived around eighty years old. I was in Mumbai at that time. I went home for his funeral after my team lead forced me to go home. People were sad and crying at home. I did not feel sad, neither cried because it is a natural thing to die. I don’t become happy when someone is born either. People were making assumptions about me that yeah I was fucking sad inside. What kind of asshole people are those ? Let me tell you the reason, my grandfather’s sons, they never liked him, they would say bad things in his back,when he was alive. Now that he is dead, they want to be nice to him. Oooh, “don’t speak ill of the dead.” Well my grandfather wasn’t really a nice person. Neither my grandmother is. But they like/liked me, I will return the favor if I can. What I learnt after the death of my grandpa was that I could be Spiderman too. Then I realized that people would expect me to save them which I don’t wanna do. Jokes apart, I learnt how he lived such a wrong life. Maybe it made him happy living in the same place for so long. I cannot live in the same place for years.

How do you deal with death ? If I have a gf or wife and I really love her, I don’t think I can deal with it. People will say,“she is gone now,but she wants you to be happy,now move on.” Fuck you. Fucking people don’t know what you had with your loved one. If your love isn’t really true, you will definitely move on and find some another bitch and you will claim you are in love again. Also I know if I have a gf, she will definitely not want me to move on, she will not want me to be shared with another bitch, in fact she will want me to die and join her. It’s not easy to deal with death. I’m stone hearted to human beings since I was born. If I don’t fall in true love, I don’t think I will give a fine monkey’s ass about who is dying. Hmm, what about my parents death ? Will I be sad ? There is a 99% of chance that I will not be sad, death is natural. Maybe I don’t love them. Fucking death is so disgusting. If you are sad all the time, it’s fine to die. If you are living a really happy life, you will never wanna die. I don’t even wanna talk about death of a pet. I lost my rabbit to some fucking disease. It was so fucking hurtful. How do parents deal with a child death ? Life is such a sad thing. There is no winning here. Each second brings you closer to death. Maybe it’s a good thing. Few days ago, I was so fucking depressed because I was not able to find someone to be mine. I don’t think I will ever find. I think this article just changed my view towards everything. I’m glad I’m alive today and I’m glad I can be happy alone. Now not much people will be sad if I die tomorrow, that’s how I want it to be. What kind of fucking asshole you are if you die and make everyone sad ? But every now and then, you should check if you are dead already. Ask someone to pinch your nipples.

Is there a way to beat death ? Savitri did. She brought her husband back from death. Love makes us to want to live more. That’s what’s written in the big books. Also there is one more guy who also beat death. I think his name is Prahlad. But those are different stories,may not be real. People believe the gods are immortal which may not be true. They believe the Sun is a god, but He is dying. It would be amazing to watch the Sun die though. I think the reason the gods live long is that they live up above us so far away where time is relatively slow. Could be that their one second is equivalent to 100 years on Earth. Fuck, I want to be a God. Have you ever heard the people read the eulogy in funerals, on TV ? Why they always say nice things ? Except the one in the Charlie Harper’s funeral. Do you believe that the nice people die early ? I think if you are really nice, you will die really early,because the Gods think you have qualified to be a servant of them. That’s why you should never be too nice if you want to live long. Do some assholistic things along with nice things. Keep maintaining the balance and you might just become immortal. Confused ? One example, pee in your manager’s world’s greatest dad coffee mug but wash it and keep it where it was before. I think that’s why my grandpa lived so long. Fucking genius.

How do you live your life right before you die ? Do you have a wishlist to do before you die ? Do you know what you want ? Maybe you should make a list right now. You should not die with regrets. Again, if you complete your wishlist, shouldn’t you die and let your kids and others have the oxygen that you are gonna waste on breathing. I think it should be the responsibility of the senior citizens to donate their life for their grandkids. Fuck, I’m gonna get jailed for provoking people to suicide, logically. Suicide is a sin ? Why ? Because God gave you this beautiful human life and you decided to end it ? You are not worthy of taking your own life ? And only God is allowed to take your life ? If that is the case, why doesn’t he make your life ? Like giving you a billion dollars and asking you to do whatever the fuck you want.

My last will : I know people start crying and giving shoulders to family members when someone dies. It is actually nice. Helps with the pain. It’s very nice to know that someone’s being sad because you are sad. If I die unexpectedly after 289 years, I don’t think a lot of people will be sad because I don’t know a lot of people and I hate everyone. I am ok with it. But the day I die, I want my money to be sent for the animal welfare, if I have saved any. Also, I want someone to use my credit card and buy a lot of beer. I mean use all the credit available on my credit card and buy beer and chicken and give it to everyone. They should remember The Sir Sagz. Don’t inform the bank that I am dead. On my funeral day, I want some amazing rap songs to be played. And make a fucking big sculpture of myself and put it down near a beach. I wanna watch the birds flying over the sea at sunset. I’m just waiting for my Lawyer friend to make my will official. Guess you all will join my funeral themed,”dead man drinking.” Can’t wait to see that day.

– The Sir Sagz

A strong woman tastes like a strong beer

Warning : The below article might admire your grandmother,your daughter,your mom,your sister,your girlfriend,your girlfriend’s mother,your lady-doctor,your female friends and etc. This article might also hurt your fucking bf/husband/father and random girls. Read at your own risk,bitch.

It’s almost 10pm and I am rushing out of work to the exit gate to catch the cab. I managed to reach there before time. So I’m standing there with a bunch of girls. Can’t see their faces in the dark. All of a sudden, It starts to rain and I ask the girl next to me if I can get under her umbrella. She approves me to get in. Why wouldn’t she approve, I wasn’t giving them any attention. If you don’t give your attention to unknown bitches, you are a fucking godlike guy in their eyes. It’s my philosophy,works 99% of the time. Now I’m standing next to her, so close, my ass is almost wet, due to rain,wondering if I could see her face. But you can’t look at someone’s face from so close, they might kiss you. I’ve never kissed. Ughhh.

Now I’m analysing some of the facts. She is independent and has a job, she buys her own fucking umbrella, is she a strong girl ? What if she is not independent,is she a strong girl ? She probably has a boyfriend or secretly dreaming to propose me,but if she has a bf, is she strong still ? What does a strong woman look like ? What makes her strong ? Is a bitch a strong woman ? If someone who doesn’t give shit to motherfuckers and minds her own business, can she be called strong ? Isn’t that something we call an arrogant bitch ? Does that mean an arrogant bitch is a strong woman ?

Let’s go back to the indian history,when children were getting married at 10 or 12 years old without knowing shit. I haven’t seen their struggle. But I can imagine it. Fucking in-laws, new home, new people and new shitty rules. It’s like going to a slumber party and not coming back and that house becomes your new home. Were those girls strong ? Physically and mentally ? Am I strong ? Fuck yeah, I was ready to ride even after a fatal motorbike accident. So physical strength, let’s ignore it, bitch you can eat some protein shit and go to gym, you are fucking strong now. Although being physically strong, can make you mentally strong too. Let’s talk about the strength that we don’t see. I see a lot of girls at my workplace. Being independent(not really) and all. Making money, drinking alcohol or giving money to their poor family. Does being independent mean you are a strong girl ? Not really. A lot of girls are emotionally unstable. Whoa ! Yeah, we all are,at times. But they somehow manage to look calm. Maybe only during the day time. Does this mean she is strong, if she can hide her pain and still be a nice person ? Yes she is strong in a different way. So, a prostitute or a pornstar, is she a strong woman ? I feel like saying fucking yes. She has the courage to do the things even gods can’t do. Who am I to argue now ?

Still not clear what makes a woman strong ? Let’s find some characteristics of a strong girl. Even a dependent girl can be strong. I think the girl who doesn’t really seek validation from others and achieves her goals honestly, is actually strong. A girl with intelligence can be strong. Someone who is not good looking but doesn’t give a shit about her look, can be a strong girl too. Someone who is struggling in a bad relationship or marriage,dealing with a fucking-abusive-ugly-ball-less-bf-or-husband and still trying to make it work for the sake of her children,can really be strong, stupid of course, but she is strong. Someone who has been so obedient to her parents her whole life and doing things blindly just to please her parents, can be strong. Again, stupid of course. Someone who doesn’t show her feelings,someone who doesn’t ask for help, someone who doesn’t accept others’ help, can be strong. It’s surprising how so many negative qualities actually make you strong.

Does this mean at some point of time everyone is strong ? Wait, what about the fucking teenagers who are showing off crying because their boyfriend left ? These fucking girls are disgusting. Yeah, I hear your complaint, you have to study a whole lot shit and you want to be counted as a strong girl. Bitch, everyone has to study. Nothing special about you. I will call you strong if you don’t get into a fucking relationship,study properly and grow some genuine standard,unlike mine. We learn from our mistakes as we grow up, we get changed, our mentality and thinking, everything gets changed. Do our mistakes make us strong ? Well pain changes people, we get pain from our fucking stupid mistakes,so yeah our mistakes make us strong. No mistake, no strength.

I have a friend who never had any relationships till 29. Not sure if she will get into one in future because I’m brainwashing her slowly. I know there are a lot of girls who also never had a boyfriend till they were 25 or 30 or 45. They may have some mental disorder. Other than that, if a girl doesn’t choose to have a boyfriend, is she strong ? Could be, she is self sufficient. Maybe she is like me, doesn’t really fit in with the motherfuckers. If a girl has a lot of guy friends and she takes advantage of them, can she still be a strong woman ? I think not. Someone who takes risks, deals with her mistakes alone,gets herself out of her fucking pain without asking anyone, can she be strong ? Fuck yeah. If you find one, let me know. Wait, so a lonely girl is a strong one ? I might agree with a 10% doubt. Discover these girls and bring them to me.

What about a mother ? Is she strong ? If she knows the meaning of being a real mother, if she has what it takes to be a real mother, she is definitely strong as a fucking storm. Just because you bear the pain of childbirth, you are not strong. No offence. I know a lot of bitch moms. For example : Eminem’s mother,Rapunzel’s mother, I can go on you know. What about the guys who are trying to become girls ? And the guys who are changing their sex organs ? Becoming a girl from a guy. I think it would take a whole lot guts to do that. Not sure if that means they are strong or not. Wait, if they can change sex, can they add additional dicks ?

The lawyer friend was asking me to make an article on ‘why it’s difficult for strong women to fall in love ?’ Interesting question there. I have already explained it somewhere in some article before. Maybe I’m getting a fucking deja Vu. I can explain the answer in a very simple offensive way. Ok here I go, A strong woman doesn’t need shit from anyone, plus she has got everything you all dick-danglers need. She has been with herself for a long time. She knows what she needs. She knows what you need. She doesn’t need you to buy shit for her. She can buy for herself. Then why the fuck would she be with you ? To have company or some emergency backup ? I know you all small-dick-one-ball guys want them to do shit for you while you lie down on the comfy bed. Why would she settle down for anyone who is not upto her standard ? Why would she let you stop her from achieving her goal ? If she finds one who understands her and supports her, she will definitely let her guards down for the guy. That is why they don’t mate with fake niggas with ugly driver license pictures. But you gotta tell them about me. Fuck, how do I know all these things about girls ? I’m possessed by some intelligent girl, I guess.

Why she tastes like strong beer ? Unlike a strong coffee, she is totally chilled and won’t burn your fucking mouth, she won’t keep you awake in fact she will give you a great sleep. Also she can cure some of your internal diseases and can prevent you from getting some diseases. She can get you addicted. She can also make you throw up. You should know your limits around her. In short, everyone is born fucking weak, except me, we gain strength from our mistakes, some become strong and some become stupid and do the mistakes again. So let me ask you, what do you taste like ? Yeah I am disgusting.

– The Sir Sagz

How much for your company ?

Warning : The below article might hurt your fucking friends,their feelings,your colleagues, your parents, your bf/gf, your husband/wife and your children. Read at your own risk,bitch.

I’m gonna tell you something some people know buy they don’t tell you. Little bit about the author,age: 26 years old, experience : 18 years of loneliness, talent : self entertaining. Alright, now a lot more about the author : he fucking hates you. Well that sums up a lot. I do not like you, I will never do. You can give me your heart, for transplantation, not for your so called bullshit love, still I will fucking hate you. But I will do something equivalent to return the favour. But bitch, still I will hate you. I don’t know why but I have brainwashed myself to hate everyone. But I will help you. I will give you anything I can and I will help you anyway I can. But sorry, the likeness can never happen. You are not worthy of it.

The real reason I do not like anyone is that I have seen the fucking ugly reality of people in movies and TV series. Now I don’t wanna be with anyone, I don’t wanna have friends, I don’t wanna get married. In short, I wanna be a monk. Does that mean I don’t need company of another person in my whole life ? Can you survive without someone’s company in this world ? Definitely not. I can’t survive alone. I don’t even have a good connection with the family. That is scary. Is that why God sent Eve for Adam ? So they can have some company, without which they will just fucking masturbate and die ? OMG, am I just gonna gonna masturbate and die ? Definitely yes. Let me change the statement, is it worth it having a partner or friend ? Is it worth it dealing with their bullshit things so you can have someone in your life, to fuck or to have a family ? Yes. Feels like as long as I’m not mentally broken or physically sick, I will not need another person. Then I know I will be fine in a day or two. It’s really hard for me to adjust to someone’s disgusting behaviour. You can’t order someone not to do something that irritates you. If you request them,bitches won’t even listen. I don’t know how people can get married to someone and post a pic saying,“he is not perfect,but together we are perfect, or marriage is not about finding the perfect person and blah blah blah fucking chessy disgusting words.” Lots of women’s brain and thinking are just pure disgusting. So is that what marriage means ? Buying someone’s company for a long time,till divorce,without actually paying ? Oh I think people actually pay for the marriage after they get married. Kind of like, postpaid service. Obviously someone will get bored of you,after they fuck you for a year and get bored of the sex. Usually they divorce because they are not perfect for each other. I believe this perfect person exists. It’s not a fucking myth. You just get married because you cannot find them and your self-esteem goes down each day and girls get ugly after 25.

Now I think if I had friends, I would never do the things I’m doing now. I will definitely not write this fucking blog. I will be smoking weed and drinking strong beer and hanging out with my fucking friends and be checking out fucking bitches. Is it worth having such company ? Also it’s not worth it having boring friends who don’t get out of home. I would definitely not be lonely if I have a lot of friends. Hold that thought. I have seen a lot of bitches on tinder,bitches who have linked their Instagram to tinder, and In their Instagram you can see them hanging out with a lot of niggas, then why are they on tinder ? To get fucked or they are just lonely inside ? Probably to suck a dick or 9. I know a few girls on Instagram. They keep posting these sad annoying post about love,break up,life,pain and stuff. Are they lonely inside ? If you are a girl, there is a very less chance of being lonely. I mean if you are a girl, you can just put “I’m lonely inside.Need company” on your Instagram story, I bet you will get responses for a week at least,even if your story has expired. Doesn’t matter how you look. These fucking gay self-esteem-less niggas be texting you whole day,“baby, are you lonely still ?” If you are a guy and you post the same thing, You will be fucking mocked, virtually kicked and slapped, even some people will report your ass on Instagram. Why is it like this ? Why is it so hard to find someone who can just listen to you ? I bet your fucking parents have no idea what’s going on with you. They will never know how fucking lonely you are inside ? We don’t tell them. Why ? Coz you are a fucking grown up now,find a girl for yourself. You are not a fucking child who will crawl into your mother’s lap because you are fucking lonely. They don’t know the pain we go through and they fucking think,yeah my son has a job and successful so the fuck he needs anything now. He is fucking happy. We are men. We are expected to be fucking strong. On our own. We are expected to have no feelings or loneliness inside. Otherwise you are not a man, you are a fucking pussy. Fucking society. Fuck, now I think I should make an article on “Men don’t cry.” Drafted.

18 years of loneliness. I’m not complaining. I feel fucking proud. This is the reason I don’t wanna get married. Bitch if I can be alone and happy, why the fuck would I need you ? To listen to your fucking back-yapping ? Yap to your lesbian friends. I grew up with myself. I learnt myself. I learnt my weakness and my fucking strength. Made myself a fucking beast. All the credits go to all the bitches out there. My body and my mind, they just fucking love each other now and I know they will not allow a third person to be with my body or my mind. I have a friend who is married,same age as mine,she has got two kids and a fucking asshole husband. How lonely her life could be ? Whose fault is it now ? Imagine being married to someone who doesn’t even like you and hurts you. Now she can’t get out of that trap called marriage so easily as I think. She loved that guy and probably that guy loved her too. But as I have already told you, love never lasts, even the GOD will stop loving his own creation,the human beings, one day. Do you really need another person to fill in your loneliness vessel ? Sometimes I feel so lonely, and I feel like I wish I had someone just to give me a hug and be mine, then I bought a big pillow,hugged and masturbated and I was good to go. I was talking to my lawyer friend,whose brother and her brother’s gf split up almost after 10-12 years. I was really surprised. How can you split up with someone after 10 years ? It’s like separating your body and mind. I bet if you are with someone for a long time, then there is a chance that the person you are with, is more likely to know you even more than you know yourself. Maybe I’m wrong. But this feels right.

I can be wrong again. I have never felt the true love. Love heals everything. It’s so true. Then technology came and ruined everything. Your girl be loving you truly and then some nigga sends her a big dick picture. Not necessarily a dick picture, maybe he is better than you at everything. Now you are gonna lose your bitch in a few months. Coz one night you offend her verbally and she is with the big dick nigga because the big dick nigga hasn’t offended her yet. The chain goes on. I lost trust and interest from making a new friend or getting a gf. Now who can you call a loyal friend ? Everyone lies. Even your fucking kids are gonna lie to your fucking face one day. Get ready to bear the pain when they lie to you for someone they know for 2 weeks. Even your parents lie to you, you just don’t know that. Being a human being is not as easy as it seems.

Let’s talk about prostitutes,the ones who do real sex for money. Not the ones who lick someone’s ass at work to get money. I’m starting to think, when I will grow older, I will pay some prostitute just to come to my home and listen to me talk. No fucking or anything. Is it ok if I pay someone to be my friend for a while ? Will they be honest if they get paid ? Money may not buy love. But can it buy company ? What about the friendship with objects ? Like your car, your bike or something that you really care. Do they fight against our loneliness ? Maybe they do a little bit. Have you even seen a perfect couple ? If you see, tell them to give me a call. Do your friends know you are fucking broken inside ? Do they even care ? I know a lot of bitches don’t share their pain with anyone. Showing off, being strong. Some genuinely don’t share because they think these fucking fuck-seekers won’t even really care. They are not wrong. I chose to be alone. I cannot be in a relationship. Even if I want to be. Unless you are a fucking perfect girl. Sometimes you are so alone because you are ugly. Just being honest. Have you seen any ugly person having a relationship and all ? Maybe you have a disgusting personality, bitches don’t like that. They want someone nice looking and very good at flirting and fucking. This is how it always has been. I have seen ugly bitches chasing after nice looking assholes and also nice looking bitches with ugly ass guys. I mean rich guy. Nothing is right anymore. It’s like everyone is using fucking cheat codes in the game of life. Only the innocent ones get killed. Wish I could pay someone to be the person I want for sometime. The word “beautiful” has lost its meaning for me.

How much for your company, ma’am ?

– The Sir Sagz

Are you making love or fucking ?

Warning : The below article might hurt your bf/gf,your fucking feelings, your view on love, your fucking heart and your fucking mentality. This post might save you from wrecking your life. Read with all attention. This is my personal view. You beg to differ ? Write your own fucking blog.

When did you have the feeling,“yeah I am in love” 15 ? 35 ? I had this feeling since I was 7 or 8. What the fuck. Lol. So now I have almost 20 years of experience of this shit. So you can say I’m more than qualified to write this thing. Yeah I have been with an Odia girl,Punjabi girl,south indian girl,South Korean girl, Indonesian girl,polish girl and a dozen others I really cannot recall anymore. It was all long distance relationships except the one with the Punjabi girl and one with the Odia girl. Each relationship taught me very valuable lessons for life, and that’s why I am the greatest asshole today. Maybe not the greatest.

I always loved the feeling you know when someone tries to be possessive and caring. We all do. I’m not gonna talk about my relationships. They were great. Maybe not great. I will tell you about the real relationship I had for 2 years. Other relationships were just to get away from loneliness. Well the truth is I wanted someone to ask me how my fucking day was. I already told you about my childhood,being loner and isolated from others. So no one really asks me about my day and what’s going on in my life. This is how serial killers are produced. I’m already halfway there. Anyway I had my long distance gfs to talk to, whenever I felt like I’m loosing shit.

Back to this real gf, she was 16 when I was 22. She wouldn’t be my gf if she had not proposed me. Because at this age, I had already lost hope. And I have a problem with saying NO. I don’t say NO. She proposed and I didn’t say No,though I was not really interested in her. But come on, we all fall in love eventually when you talk to the same person over and over again. At this age, I really did not know what type of girl I was looking for. I had not specified any distinct attributes that a girl needs to have,so I can fall in love here. What the fuck did I say ? Are you supposed to love a girl after you interview her ? Doesn’t love just happen surprisingly ? Hmmm I don’t know about that. If someone is beautiful I certainly like how she looks, but love ? Maybe not. I have read something about love. Like accepting someone’s faults and stuff or ignoring their faults and stuff just because we like them ?

So this 16 year old girl, she was nice. Not that hot looking. Maybe average. Hope she finds this blog. Lol.Look is important but it’s negotiable to me. I don’t wanna wake up next to a goat. Now I think goats are nice looking. So the point is she was average looking and I liked her. Also I was not looking like some fucking phony movie star with make up on my face. These fucking kids love them. I wonder why ? After a few months I realised I really don’t like her. Oops wait, the reason I thought I did not like her is that, I really cannot tolerate female shit. You know, the way they talk or chirp or the gay way they behave and stuff. No offence to gays. That was the only reason why I did not like her. No she was also so boring and cheesy. So in each relationship, I kept making these notes about the attributes I need in a girl.

A little more light on my hidden weirdness : I don’t like being touched. No, wait, I don’t like being touched by the people I don’t love. I really don’t love anyone. Also, I am a virgin still. Maybe I was gonna have it with the girlfriend but I was really reluctant to it. Maybe because I was not in love her. But she was really looking forward to it.I wanna have sex with someone I love. Now wait, how do you know that girl/guy is gonna be with you after you have sex with them a few times and you/they get bored ? Is that what love is ? It doesn’t let you get bored ? I don’t wanna throw my body to everyone I love. This is my own fucking body, I have worked hard to shape it, why would I just give it to you ? Because I love you and you love me ? For two months now ? Show me some loyalty,show me we will be compatible with each other in the next 10 years, show me you got the shit it takes to make this relationship work. Fuck I sound like a girl. So just make love online till then ? I will come to this point. I know people like fucking a lot of people. Also there are more than 3 billion girls out there, you will get another one so fuck this bitch and find another. But I never really had much interest in sex. I can talk to you all day all night if I like you.

Now think about your bf or gf. We need love. True. Maybe I don’t need. Oh wait, I forgot to mention about the age difference. You might be having a bf/gf who might have a significant age difference. Like 5 to 20 or more.But we really don’t care about the age difference when we are in love. Let me tell you something. Love is just a feeling. It has faded away and it will fade away. That’s why people make kids. A reason for them to stay together. You think Romio and Juliet loved each other ? Lol. If they were together for a few more months, they would have fucking ended the relationship by themselves. That’s the truth. And when the love fades, if you have a nice age difference, the older one will fucking control you and use you as an object. I’m speaking from experience.

Making love ? I bet the females came up with the idea that it should not be called sex or fucking, it’s making love. Maybe because it was too disrespectful to them. I’m not a misogynist but I don’t like a lot of girls. The same gay behaviour reason. But when you are a teen you just want some pussy to stick your dick in. Fuck this thing rhymes. So you know usually the motive of men is to fuck a bitch and then a few more times with the same stupid bitch and move on. At least that’s what teenagers think. Also maybe some rich grandpas think that too. There are nice guys also. Those are called the dumb people. Maybe they are nice.I’m not a nice guy but I have no interest in fucking anyone. Yeah maybe I will name something to my category of people. If they exist. Maybe your first sex was really romantic and nice for you, but that asshole nigga isn’t with you anymore. Is he ? The problem is that, these girls don’t have the knowledge about love and sex and stuff. They think if you are in love, you gotta get fucked. Fuck, I’m being too disrespectful. Fuck you. I’m telling you the truth. So you may ask me now, how I’m gonna be with the nigga without sex,we love each other,it’s been already a month and love is incomplete without making love. Fuck you right there. I don’t know how, maybe fuck each other online and see if the nigga has got love and patience for you. Feels legitimate ? proceed then.

Now you are gonna say, fuck online ? How disgusting is that ? Exactly. Not to me. I bet these are the same bitches who also think masturbating is disgusting. They want a real dick. Those are the ones who get pregnant before they hit 20,married before 22, divorced before 26, depressed and unofficially dead before 30. Lot of Indian girls don’t touch themselves because they think it’s a sin. They are even worse than the bitches who are getting fucked. How much disrespectful can I be ? Wait there is more.

I remember I was watching a Chinese porn movie. There was a guy with a small dick who was not able to satisfy women. So he was getting a dick transplant. I mean he was getting a horse dick. But on his way, he meets an old couple and the old guy never actually had a dick since he was born. He asks them,” how can you be together for so long when you are not having sex ?” And that’s when the subtitle stopped working and I could not understand what the old man said. I think the old guy said,”sex is important for sure, but having a best friend in your partner is more important.” Maybe making love doesn’t only mean having a sexual intercourse with your partner with love and passion. Maybe it also means just being with each other no matter what because you connect with the person on some other level that no one can understand. I wish I were asexual. Would be easy to spot the right one.

Girls are nice. I agree to this fact. Well at least a lot of girls are nice. Once some nigga fucks them and leaves them, they become bitch. I have respect for those girls. They are real bitches. Not lying. No respect for the fake bitches though. No respect for any girl who is nice even after she is fucked and left, and she still thinks the guy loved her. That’s some level of stupidness. What I am saying is, don’t be nice always, be a bitch, sometimes. It will save you from a lot of trouble. Judge a nigga, analyse him, interview him and remember past is very very important. For fuck’s sake don’t date a guy who has fucked a lot of bitches. After some fucking sessions, the mentality of that guy changes. You can trust me now too. I guess as long as I haven’t done it, making love,sex or fuck, has no meaning to me. Lol.

Peace !!! sisters !!!

-The Sir Sagz