Warning : The below article might hurt your God’s feelings, your feelings, your priest’s feeling, the poor people’s feelings,the rich people’s feelings, your society, your terrorists and your ancestors. Read at your own risk,dead people.
Your interview has been scheduled at 9pm on 15th July with The Sir Sagz. Please be on time and bring a tequila bottle on your way. No, make it two. Someone is getting wasted tonight.
I was playing snakes game in Nokia 1100 mobile phone back in 2005. I lost several times though. At that time,mobile phone was new to me. Anyway, at the end of the game, somehow the vibration mode was activated automatically and I did not know how to deactivate that. Fuck, I did not even know why it was vibrating. That’s when I prayed to God for the first time to make the phone stop vibrating and it worked. I was so fucking surprised. Then I started to believe in God. I had a few more incidents when I asked God to help me out and it worked as well. It was getting scary. I always believed in Ghosts without a question. But to believe in God, it’s really not that easy. You will always have doubt in your mind. Maybe the God did not help me at all, maybe some devil liked me and helped me out a few times. Not impossible. Well the guy who did the homework got beaten up and I had not even touched my homework and nothing happened to me. It was an amazing feeling though.
I never go to temple or any place where they keep pictures or sculptures of gods and worship them. You have to remove your shoes before you enter the temple. At some temples, they will not allow you to enter if you have anything that is made of leather. Fucking fat priests. Why bitch ? Again, why someone has to worship the God for me ? I can just pay the priest and leave and he will worship the Gods for me. Again, why bitch ? Why can’t I just worship or pray to the God by myself ? Fucking indian people. They will say God is omnipresent and then they will go to a temple to worship the God. How stupid these people are ? You know in the ancient indian days, the Gods will make the kings dream that they want you to build a temple for them. Seriously God ? Why ? Why do you need a temple ? Maybe if there isn’t any temple, people will not believe that there is any kind God. Again, fucking stupid people.
Wait, there is more stupidity. A lot of people agree that there is a God who is really powerful. He can do thousand push ups in a second. He can bring the deads back to life. It’s like the most impossible thing in the world. If He can create the solar system and big animals like dinosaurs, then yeah obviously He is so powerful. Then why do people lock them in a temple ? Why do people make sure that nobody steals the God’s valuables ? Really ? People ? You can save the God’s valuable things from assholes ? So the God cannot protect his own amazing things ? The God can’t stop a hungry powerless thief from stealing his gold ? The God who is so powerful and protects you, you think you can protect the God ? Wait, why does a God need so many valuable things ? God answers, he does not need them, these fucking people think he needs them. I think the Christian God is different compared to the Hindu Gods. I have been living for 26 years, I didn’t get to see a God. Why is it so important for the God not to show up once in a while ? You know the God can see everything all the time right, it’s like they have got cctv cameras everywhere. So let me ask you God,do you watch people doing dirty things ? Fuck people, do you watch me while I do it ?
Dear God, I have no interest to ask you stupid questions like why you created the world and everyone, why there is pain and suffering and what is the meaning of life. I know you got bored and created a game to enjoy. This is the most amazing game I ever played, I agree. Whoever wins the game will get to go to the heaven and enjoy. That is the prize I guess. Then people copied your theory and created movies like hunger games. I would love to see you once in my life so I can poke you just to see if you are gonna say “ouchh”. Also, I think you are kind of boring and annoying. What kind of parent you are who creates his children,leaves them and never lets the children see their parent ? It’s really embarassing. You know how many fucking people are following your footsteps ?
I believe that you created a special person for each and everyone. Why not let them know their partners’ name and location when they get 16 years old ? It will save everyone a lot of time and heartbreaks. I know you want your game to be interesting. I know the intelligent ones will wait and search for the right one. But the stupid ones will just blindly fuck each other and destroy their lives,the lives you gave them. Indirectly they are destroying your most valuable property and you are not even saying anything. You just want them to punish after they die. I would also like to know if it was your game rules that people should get married. If it was you, then it’s a lame rule. Just because you don’t have to work to feed your kids, doesn’t mean the poor people can do the same. Maybe you can brainwash the people to not get married. Wait, I think you already brainwashed the people to suffer. I’m the one who understands how your brain works. I have the perfect plan to make your plan fail. But my fucking parents want me to get married. My plan is that nobody gets married and everyone takes care of each other. Why they shouldn’t get married ? Because once you are married, doesn’t matter how nice you are, you have to be fucking selfish. If nobody gets married, then there will be no suffering because we will help each other. If there is any asshole detected in my system, then he/she will be thrown to a gang of crocodiles for gangbang. I think this plan can fail your game. But people are too stupid and brainwashed to understand this shit. Fucking selfish people. One more important question, why is the child making process so disgusting ? What made you decide that a child should be produced this way ? I mean someone has to fuck someone, I don’t wanna talk about it, but I would like to know the answer to my question.
On the other hand, I’m blackmailing you now to make me a God otherwise I will turn the stupid people against you and make your game fail.
– The Sir Sagz